


A Moment Apart

by Flamoria



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eren Is a Little Shit, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Frottage, Levi/Eren Yeager-centric, M/M, Mikasa Ackerman & Eren Yeager Are Siblings, Minor Violence, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Eren Yeager, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Secret agent Levi, Sort Of, Titan Eren Yeager
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2020-09-07 07:21:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 42,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20305627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flamoria/pseuds/Flamoria
Summary: Eren looked down at the raven-haired man incredulously and his green eyes glimmered with mirth as venomous words passed through his clenched teeth. "Oh, fuck no. You're not staying in my house with me you midget piece of shit."The man blinked, clearly unbothered by the brunet's response, and answered calmly, "the name’s Levi. You should get used to it as you'll be using it a lot more from now on. I'm not leaving until I get what I want."....Great. Fucking great. He was now trapped in his house with a stranger who had slammed him against a wall as a greeting. And the worst part? There was no way he could give Levi what he wanted which meant he would most likely be stuck in this situation for months. Shit.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hahahaha I was supposed to wait longer to share this and, yet, here I am. I really shouldn't have two WIP at the same time but this has been plaguing me for months and it's sometimes hard to write TOIP with this in my brain. So, we'll see how this goes.
> 
> This is NOT beta'd. The lovely Lei has been busy enjoying and living her life and I did not want to bother her with another fic to help me with, especially because idk what short chapters are. Also, I'm not sure where I'm going with this or how seriously I'll take it with TOIP being the monster that it is, so please don't mind if it's a bit rough around the edges. I'm mainly just having some fun, however, if you see any glaring mistakes please let me know and I'll fix them right away. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this and if you follow my other fic, don't worry, it's my main priority and it won't be pushed to the side for this one.

** _“We are here to laugh at the odds _ **

** _and live our lives so well _ **

** _that Death will tremble to take us.”_ **

** _-Charles Bukowski _ **

* * *

He didn’t know how else to describe that day than to say it was the beginning and the end rushing towards one another and exploding with such force that it would forever alter his world. It seems like a cliché, really, the start of so many romance novels that forty-year-old moms sit down next to the fireplace and read wishing they had a love like that. However, there was no better way to explain the monumental impact that the person he met would have on his existence.

He had already thought his life had been altered against his will, a fate thrust upon him that he had never asked for and never wanted. He had sworn to himself that he would never allow another person to decide what path he would walk but he hadn’t ever had a choice and the realization of that hit him hard causing him to swallow deeply. To know that he didn’t have control over every aspect of his life after working so hard to gain it hurt more than he had expected.

He tilted his head when the tapping of footsteps against the wooden floor floated into his ears causing his breathing to become heavy. _I can’t do this_. He slammed his hands against the table. Hard. Enough to leave the wood shaking beneath tan fingers. His palms were sweaty. Heartbeat was erratic. Sharp green eyes rimmed with gold shifted to look at the open doorway as that oh so familiar figure appeared. A once unwelcome sight which had, against his want and permission, became a permanent fixture. Someone he was sure he could never live without again. And he was scared.

_Fuck, he was scared_.

“Levi.”

“Eren.”

His name rolled off the other man’s tongue like liquid syrup. A smooth sugary sweetness that beckoned him to come forward for a taste. He felt like he was drowning already, and they hadn’t even touched yet. He didn’t want to fall, had sworn he hadn’t, but if he was being honest with himself, he had tumbled from the edge of that precarious cliff from the moment he first laid eyes on the man. A man who was now slowly walking towards him with such a look of reverence that he thought he might cry. No one had ever looked at him that way before. He hadn’t ever wanted anyone to. Until now.

He stayed still, unmoving, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. He couldn’t do this, wouldn’t do this. Crossing this last barrier would lay him bare, open, unprotected. If he allowed this to happen, he would be doing what he had promised himself he would never do. Give himself utterly and completely to another person. He would be opening himself up to be hurt and he knew he would be. Levi was after something that Eren couldn’t give him but if he allowed this...if he allowed this...he would crumble. He would give him _everything_ and _anything_. He would let Levi destroy him from the inside out and at the end of it all he wouldn’t even hate him, could never hate him.

“Eren...please.”

And that’s all it took for him to break.

**Six months earlier.**

Eren whistled a soft tune as he made his way up the walkway and towards his front porch. Today had been long, too long, and he wanted nothing more than to snuggle with his cat Fritz and watch something on Netflix. His feet smacked against the pavement, the only sound out this far aside from the birds chirping in the distance and the bugs buzzing through the trees. It’s why he had picked this for his home, a place of seclusion, something much needed after the life he had endured thus far.

Just then, Eren stopped and his eyes turned to slits as he tilted his head and listened more carefully. That’s when he heard it, voices far in the distance, and what sounded like guns smacking against armor. Oh, fuck no. He thought bitterly as he turned his body to face the direction in which the...twenty men....no twenty-_one_ men...were. Eren had fought tooth and nail for years to get the government off his back and yet here these fuckers were on HIS property when he had already told them before they needed to stay the fuck away. Great, just fucking great. This is exactly what he had not been looking forward to dealing with today.

As Eren was about to head out to the woods to tell those bastards to fuck off he heard more movement, however, this time it was closer. Much closer. It was coming from inside his house and this realization caused his blood to immediately run cold. He had a feeling deep inside his gut that whoever was inside his house was the person the government was here for, after all, Eren had given them no inkling to ever question the lies that he had spent years telling. The brunet was not against turning whoever it was in so that he could once again enjoy his peace but then he remembered that his cat was in there. _Fuck_. Eren wouldn’t put it against someone who had broken into a stranger’s house and was running from the government to hurt an animal, so he had no choice but to venture inside and into whatever awaited him.

Swallowing loudly, he pushed the door open and willed himself to stay calm. If he didn’t stay in control, he would risk revealing everything he had battled relentlessly to keep hidden for the past five years. It hadn’t been easy to get where he was now and he would NOT allow anyone, no matter who they were, to ruin this peace he had finally managed to create for himself and his loved ones.

As soon as Eren stepped through the door he felt a solid object push him with so much force that he slammed against the wall in a matter of seconds. Whoever had just assaulted him quickly shut the door and then his body was being manhandled so that his chest was being pressed up against the wall and his arms were twisted and pinned behind his back.

He hadn’t caught a glimpse of the intruder as they had moved with a speed he had not been prepared for but, with the way they felt currently pinned against his body, he could tell it was a male and that whoever it was seemed to be quite a few inches shorter than him. Eren knew he could easily take on this person with no problem but to keep from his secrets being discovered he needed to act helpless. He grits his teeth in frustration, pulse-pounding with the need to fight and body shaking with an effort to keep from losing control and beating the ever-living shit out of his assailant. Eren hated this...the feeling of being trapped...but he couldn’t break character. He couldn’t lose _this_.

“Don’t move,” a deep voice laced with aggression whispered into his ear. It’s not like Eren had been fucking planning on it, to begin with, but now that he was being ordered to do something, he suddenly felt the need to do the exact opposite.

“What the fuck do you want?” He took a deep breath and shifted his body a bit in a vain attempt to get more comfortable. _Fuck_. This guy had a tight grip.

“Those fucking FBI agents are about to make their way over here and you need to convince them to leave. Don’t let them know I’m here.” The man continued to pin Eren’s arms with one hand, however, he had now decided for some ungodly reason that it was of necessity to use his other to press Eren’s face into the wall. _Hard_. “Do the names Armin and Mikasa ring a bell to you?”

Eren’s eyes widened when those names left the man’s lips and he immediately felt his entire body go rigid. Not even the government had known about his two best friend’s involvement in what had happened to him so, how was it that this random bastard had figured it out? Armin had deleted all traces of he and Mikasa’s names in the files once they had managed to overthrow Grisha. So, there was no way...

“You leave them out of this,” he growled, pushing back against his assailant. It was one thing to threaten his life but to bring those dearest to him into the fray was something he could not let slide. To blow his cover and risk his friend's lives or stay as he was and risk his friends’ lives...the options were not in his favor.

“You get them to leave or I send my people to Armin’s house first. It’s a rather nice place. A bit surprising someone so young can afford such luxuries but...I suppose some of us are luckier than others.”

Eren huffed and allowed his body to go slack as an indication that he had given in to the intruders demands. He didn’t have much of a choice. He knew Mikasa and Armin would rather he back down and protect his secret than to fight back. After Eren convinced the FBI to leave and dealt with this stranger, he would need to get in touch with his friends and decide where to go from here. Whatever organization this man was part of, they knew more than they should, and Eren needed to figure out how.

The man squeezed his fingers around Eren’s wrist in a warning that clearly stated if the taller man were to try anything, his attacker would not hesitate to go through with his threats. A moment later Eren was released and he had to force himself to not turn around and immediately deck the fucker across the face. Armin and Mikasa would be proud. It had taken years of practice to keep his anger in check and get himself under control. He had truly come a long way and this man should honestly be counting himself lucky. If he had attempted this shit years ago there would have been a high likelihood that he would have been killed.

After taking a few deep breaths and forcing himself into a state of calmness, Eren turned around to get a proper look at his assailant and what he saw slightly surprised him. He was correct in his prediction that the man was shorter than him, in fact, he might have been shorter than Armin who was a whopping five foot four inches. His hair was as black as the night sky during winter and most of his face, aside from his eyes and nose, was covered by a black mask.

Those piercing silvery-blue irises appeared cool and calculating as the man took in Eren standing before him. Eren suddenly found himself feeling as though he were the smaller of the two as eyes raked over every inch of his body as though the man could see right through him and into his very soul. He hated it. He hated this man in front of him for interrupting his peaceful life, for threatening his friends, and for the pure confidence that was radiating off him. He probably thought Eren was nothing but dirt beneath his shoes and oh how he wanted to prove this fucker wrong. But first, the FBI.

Eren turned away, not even bothering to give the man a second glance as he spoke. “Fine, I can get them to go away. But-” he paused and shrugged as he gestured to the surrounding area with his hands- “you’re the one responsible for finding a proper hiding space, in case they decide to not believe me and search the house.”

There was a grunt of acknowledgment behind him before the man began to retreat and find a space to hole himself up in until Eren could hopefully get these fuckers off his property. Why was it always him? All he wanted was to live a long and peaceful life with his cat in the middle of the woods while occasionally visiting his best friends. Was that too much to ask for?_ Fuck. _

Not even five minutes after the man had left to go and find a place to hide, there was a loud banging on his door. It was with enough force that the door shook from it and Eren rolled his eyes as he called out a “yeah, yeah. I’m coming”. These bastards and their theatrics, they couldn’t ever do things the easy way. If it wasn’t loud and dramatic than what was the point?

He opened the door and was greeted by twenty-one stoic faces looking back at him; however, he could have sworn he saw a few of the men in the back tremble slightly. Eren was a bit infamous with the government for becoming rather...frightening when angered. If it weren’t for Mikasa and Armin, he may have given himself away years ago. Controlling the results of all his father’s experimentation had come at a high cost, one that he didn’t think he could ever repay.

“Gentleman, how kind of you to drop by,” he said with nothing but sarcasm lacing his voice.

“Mr. Yeager, we are sorry to bother you at such an hour. We would not be here if it weren’t urgent and your cooperation would be greatly appreciated,” a tall man with fire-red hair was the first to speak leading Eren to believe he must be the one in charge of this operation.

Eren crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe, his long chestnut-brown hair shifting to cover one of his green eyes as he sighed and fixed his gaze on the leader. “I don’t have much of a choice, do I? You better have a fucking good ass reason for bothering me when I was promised I would be left alone.”

“There is a man that goes by the name of Rivaille and he is part of an anti-government group. We believe he is somewhere on your property, possibly even inside your house, and we would like your permission to search the interior.”

Eren reached up a hand to push the hair out of his face and stepped forward so that he was eye to eye with this man. He was beginning to lose his patience, especially at the amount of arrogance this guy emanated, and if he didn’t get them to leave now, he risked having a meltdown. Not good, Eren. Not good. _Breathe_. 

“Now, mister...”

“Floch.”

“Mister Floch, why the _fuck _would you think I wouldn’t know if someone was not only on MY property but inside of my house. Do you know that absolutely _no one_ is allowed out here? I don’t even bring my friends here. This is my space and if anyone were to encroach upon it, they would have to deal with my wrath. I would know, with absolute certainty, if some stranger was inside the space that I live. And, if there were someone here, I would have beat the shit out of them from the _moment_ I found them.”

More of the men behind Floch began to become restless, their gazes shifting around to find others who shared their sense of uncertainty. Floch coughed in annoyance, answering Eren back in an equally aggressive tone, “I understand that, _mister_ Yeager. However, he is a highly trained individual so you may have missed something. It would be best if you let us _professionals_ handle this situation.”

By now, Eren was fed up. He already had to deal with getting physically manhandled by an asshole and now he was dealing with an even more annoying asshole who was trying to mentally manhandle him. He only had so much patience and Floch was currently stepping on some thin fucking ice.

“You don’t have a warrant; therefore, I do not have to let you in my home. But, lucky for you, I am a kind man. So, if you insist on looking inside, be my guest. However, if you find nothing, I can assure you I will be getting in contact with your superiors. I have cooperated with you shit stains in every possible way and the deal was that I would be left alone. You are currently breaking that deal. Do you honestly think I would allow _anyone_ to ruin my peace?”

He stepped inside and gestured for the men to enter, having had enough of this game. All he wanted was for everyone who was not supposed to be here to leave. He hadn’t been this close to having a breakdown in years and the thought of losing control sent a shiver of fear crawling up his spine. The repercussions of such an incident would be less than favorable and he wasn’t sure if they could cover it up this time around.

Lost in thought it took Eren a moment to realize there was a warmth that was pressing up against his left leg. He looked down to see wide orange eyes attached to a small creamsicle colored body staring up at him and he couldn’t help but smile. His hand reached down immediately to scratch the top of that soft head. Fritz somehow always knew when Eren needed comforting and there were days that he didn’t know what he would do without the felines company. 

There was an intense discussion happening amongst the men that Eren chose to ignore as he indulged in his cat’s presence. He had done everything he could, given the situation, and there was nothing left but for him to wait it out. He just hoped that this mysterious Rivaille had managed to find an adequate hiding space because if he didn’t, well, Eren was going to have to bail him out. He couldn’t risk his friend's lives and considering Rivaille was the one that held the trigger...well...the FBI would be the ones that would have to go.

Finally, after what seemed to be a solid half an hour but was probably only ten minutes, Floch cleared his throat bringing Eren’s attention back to him. He didn’t look happy in the slightest and Eren visibly relaxed, already knowing how this was going to go.

“We have decided to trust you and cease our search of your property. Though, I promise you, if we find out you were lying you will have a_ hefty_ price to pay. Have a good night, mister Yeager.”

As soon as he was finished speaking, Floch motioned with his hand for the men to move out. Eren stood in the doorway and watched until every figure had vanished completely from his property and all that was left were the sounds of nature around him...and the sound of Levi breathing upstairs in his hidden floor compartment. He rubbed a hand over his face before shutting the door roughly and turning around with a huff. 21 problems taken care of...one more to go. Eren had a feeling this one would, unfortunately, be much more difficult to take care of.

“Alright, bastard. You can come down now. They are gone. Hurry up, I have a life I would like to continue living,” Eren called up the stairs with a scowl on his face.

He didn’t bother waiting for the man and instead moved to his living room where he leaned against the couch and thought of all the ways he could mess with this guy to the point where he wouldn’t even _think_ of coming back. He had a few good ideas which caused him to chuckle to himself softly.

“What the fuck are you laughing about over there?” Levi asked, his voice laced with a hint of annoyance, as he came to stand in front of Eren.

“Nothing. Why are you still here? They are gone; therefore, you can leave.”

“Not happening. They will still be looking for me for quite some time and it’s best if I stay here as it’s the one place they won’t come back to look. They are intimated by you, Eren Yeager. Care to explain why?”

Eren looked down at the raven-haired man incredulously and his green eyes glimmered with mirth as venomous words passed through his clenched teeth. "Oh, fuck no. You're not staying in my house with me, you midget piece of shit."

The man blinked, clearly unbothered by the brunet's response, and answered calmly, "the names Levi. You should get used to it as you'll be using it a lot more from now on. I'm not leaving until I get what I want."

Levi? That’s not what he had been told earlier. Why had the man given him his real name and not the fake one that everyone else used? Was this a gesture to try and gain Eren’s trust? “I have no information for you. I already went through this with the government for five fucking years. Which, considering how much you already seem to know about me, you should be aware of. Whatever answers you seek; you won’t find them here.”

Levi simply made a small “tch” sound and walked over to Eren’s couch before plopping down on the piece of furniture as though he belonged there. He reached up to remove his mask, revealing a chiseled jaw and thin pale pink lips. Eren had to admit that he was attractive and if it wasn’t for the fact that he was dead set on hating the guy, he’d probably try to rope him into a one-night stand.

“Eren, you expect me to believe that? Do not mistake me for the same kind of idiots that are under control of the government. The sooner you tell me what I want to know, the sooner you will be free of me.”

What a load of shit that was. If Eren told him the truth...he’d lost his freedom once and that wasn’t something he was willing to lose ever again. Thus, the reality of his situation finally hit him. Great. _Fucking great_. He was now trapped in his house with a stranger who had slammed him against a wall as a greeting. And the worst part? There was no way he could give Levi what he wanted which meant he would most likely be stuck in this situation for months. _Shit. _He had no idea how he was going to get out of this one.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this update took so long. I have had a lot going on in my personal life lately that has made having the time and mental energy to write a bit difficult. Thank you to everyone who has given this baby fic a chance so far. It may not be much yet but I'm hoping as I move through the plotline it will become something much better and a story that you will all enjoy.

** _“He struggled with himself, too. I saw it -- I heard it._ **

** _I saw the inconceivable mystery of a soul that knew no restraint,_ **

** _no faith, and no fear, yet struggling blindly with itself.” _ **

** _  
― Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness_ **

* * *

Levi was in his shower.

Levi was using  _ his _ fucking shower as if he helped pay the damn water bill and Eren was seething with rage. They had argued for a solid thirty minutes over whether Levi had the privilege of using Eren’s amenities and eventually Eren became so fed up that he just stomped away and told Levi to do whatever the fuck he wanted. Probably not the best reaction, however, Eren had a feeling that even without his permission Levi would have gone ahead and done it anyway.

What the hell had Eren done to deserve this? Out of all the people he could have ended up trapped in a house with it had to be a midget with a bad attitude. Eren himself was known to be temperamental but he was at least pleasant to be around, the same couldn’t be said about Levi. The only upside to this situation was that his being in the shower would give Eren the privacy that he needed to contact Armin and Mikasa and figure out how the fuck to get out of this mess. 

Eren reached up and pulled his long hair back into a bun before retrieving his phone from his pocket and stepping outside. He walked a few steps away from the house, far enough out of earshot from Levi but close enough that he could still hear everything that the man was doing, before dialing Armin’s number.

_ “Eren, we just talked this morning. Is something up?” _ Eren could hear Mikasa’s concerned voice in the background as his eyes roamed over his property and he strained his ears for any unusual sounds. He was paranoid but he had a right to be and he needed to make sure there was no one listening.

“Armin, there is someone in my house.”

_ “Someone in the house? I’m not sure why you think it’s _ _ necessary to call us and let us know of the first time you’ve ever decided to bring a man home,”  _ Mikasa’s immediate reply came. Armin must have put him on speakerphone.

_ “Mika...something tells me that’s not what this is about. _ _ Eren, could you elaborate, please? Are you okay?” _

“I’m okay...for now. I came home and knew right away that something was off. Twenty-one FBI agents were on my property and I thought they were here for me until I heard that there was someone inside. I realized they must have been looking for whoever it was, and I was going to let it take its course but...Fritz was in there. You know how important he is to me. Next thing I know I’m pinned against the wall by some fucker known as Rivaille and he’s using you two to threaten me.”

He could hear both Armin and Mikasa’s sharp intake of breath on the line and his hand turned into a tight fist at the thought of them being put through more shit due to him. He had never meant for either of them to ever be dragged into his father’s crazy mess and had promised himself they’d never have to deal with it again. What a fucking liar he was. 

" _ Rivaille...I’m not familiar with that name. I’ll start looking into this right away and see what I can find. Does he suspect you?” _

Eren sighed heavily and grabbed his nose in between his thumb and pointer finger before speaking in a grave tone, “Yes. I don’t think this is going to be an easy fix but if we can find out who he is working for we might be able to counteract somehow. All I know is that they are working against the government. It makes sense that they would suspect me since the records of me being a test subject were never fully erased, however, I’m not sure how they figured out about you two.” 

_ “This is concerning. No one should have been able to bypass the firewall I put in place. Eren, you should come over tonight. You don’t sound stable.”  _

Eren picked up on Mikasa’s hum of agreement in the background and he chewed his lip in thought. It was true, dealing with both Levi and the FBI had left him exhausted and made his temper spike and it would probably be best if he took some time away to collect himself. It would also be much easier to figure out this whole thing without having to worry about Levi eavesdropping. 

“I’ll see what I can do-” he paused as his ears picked up the showerhead switching off, turning to head back inside- “Midget is done in the shower, I’ve got to go. Try not to contact me unless it’s necessary.” 

_ “Got it. Be careful, Eren.”  _

There was a hint of warning in Armin’s voice before the call went silent. Armin and Mikasa had been there every step of the way during and after the results of years of his father’s experimentation on him. They knew what the consequences were if Eren were to lose control and, worse, what would happen if Eren were to fall into the wrong hands. It was imperative that Eren went about this delicately and... delicacy was not one of his strong points _ .  _

_ Shit, I don’t want to deal with this right now. Maybe if I throw out all the food and refuse to supply him with any, I can starve him out. How many days does it take to die of starvation again? Thirty? Fuck...that’s still too long. Hm... maybe if I annoy him enough, he’ll get so sick of my shit that he’ll leave. Okay, yeah. That seems like a much better method.  _

The sound of the door shutting echoed throughout the house ominously and Eren found himself wondering if he should just take Fritz and run away. If he was with Armin and Mikasa he could protect them from anything. He had the money; he could easily buy three plane tickets and fly them anywhere in the world. Armin could forge them all new identities. They could start over, a new life, one where this shit didn’t follow them lingering like a ghoul in the shadows. 

But that would mean Armin and Mikasa would have to suffer. He knew they would do it for him as they had proven their love and loyalty time and time again. However, Mikasa had been dating Jean for almost two years now and Eren had recently been made aware that Jean was planning on proposing soon. And Armin...Armin had finally mustered up the courage to ask Annie out after years of pining. Eren couldn’t wrench them away from the happiness they had, at long last, managed to create for themselves. He loved them too much to deny them the life that they both deserved. 

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice Levi had even come downstairs and had to force himself to not over-react when an annoyed tone of voice filtered through the air.

“Eren, stop daydreaming and give me some clothes to wear.” 

_ Clothes?  _ Eren blinked and looked up only to be greeted by a pale sculpted body covered by the smallest of towels wrapped around the waist. _Seriously? Why did this man have to be so fucking gorgeous? It just wasn’t fair. _

“You have clothes,” he replied blandly as he walked towards the kitchen to fetch himself a glass of water. If he didn’t keep his eyes off of the nearly naked man that was currently in his living room he would surely start to blush like a teenager and that was something he didn’t want to try and explain his way out of.

“Clothes that are covered in dirt from trailing through the woods. I’m not putting those back on after I just showered, that’s disgusting.”

“Well, that’s your fault. Maybe you shouldn’t be inviting yourself to live in random innocent people’s houses. And, if you planned on staying here long term, to begin with, I don’t see why you didn’t bring some spare clothes,” Eren quipped back before taking a big gulp of water. He still hadn’t turned around, but he could  _ feel _ Levi’s gaze burning into his back and it made him squirm a bit on the inside. 

He had never been made to feel so uncomfortable by another human being in his entire life and, considering what Eren had been through, that said quite a fucking lot right there. Still, he wanted to stick to his plan of annoying the shit out of Levi and hoping that it would push the man to give up and leave. By the loud huff of air behind him, it seemed his tactics were working. 

“You don’t need to make this difficult, Eren. I’ve already told you I’m not leaving until I get what I want. I’m doing my best to respect your space by asking you to give me clothes instead of retrieving them myself. The least you could do is cooperate.” Levi’s voice has dipped to take on a mocking tone and Eren immediately felt his body tense up.  _ Are you fucking kidding me? _ He thought bitterly.  _ This guy is so full of shit. _

“Respecting my space? You came into my house uninvited. You assaulted me once I returned home and all I wanted was to relax and watch TV with my cat. You not only used my shower but my shampoo, conditioner, and soap as well. And now you want to use my clothes yet _I'm_ the one being unreasonable here. Fuck you. You can walk around naked until your clothes are clean because you aren’t using mine.” 

Eren’s voice had risen higher and higher with each passing word and he could feel the blood rushing through his veins. It was a good thing he was wearing a long sleeve shirt or else at the sight of prominent golden veins running up and down his arms, Levi would immediately know the truth. Eren needed to calm down. He needed to get out of here. He couldn’t do this anymore. 

Levi sighed behind him before replying in a voice thick with exasperation, “Okay, fine. I’ll just go to your room and get them mys-”

Before he could finish his sentence Eren had moved with a speed that was much too fast for a normal human being and was standing in front of the staircase that led upstairs to his bedroom. His jaw ticked as he ground his teeth together to center himself, muscles aching from clenching so hard as Eren fought to keep the beast at bay. 

“You...didn’t move that fast earlier.” Eren’s gaze trailed from Levi’s narrowed one down to his hand that was now clenched into a fist around his towel. His stance had moved to one that signaled he was ready for a fight and the brunet had to stop himself from preening at the fact that he hadn’t done anything other than move and was considered a threat. 

“You caught me by surprise earlier. I used to run track back in high school, guess I still have it in me.” 

Levi rolled his eyes and took a step forward causing a quiet growl to slip from Eren’s throat. He was in standoff mode right now, his body prepping him for a fight, and he needed to find a way to get his nerves to calm down. The man across from him wasn’t currently a threat in the sense that Eren knew if it came to it, he could easily beat him in a fight. So, why were his instincts screaming at him to let the monster take control? What was it about Levi that did this to him? 

“Eren...are you sure there isn’t anything you’d like to share with me? You seem a little... _ tense _ .” 

“I don’t like people being in my space. I never bring anyone here, not even Armin and Mikasa. I’ve accepted I don’t have much of a choice when it concerns you...for  _ now _ . However, I will not have you going into my bedroom. Wait down here, I’ll find something...suitable...for you to wear.” 

Eren didn’t even give Levi time to reply before he was bounding up the stairs and into his room. This space to him was, for lack of a better word, sacred. He had spent a lot of time making it into an area he could seclude himself in whenever he was feeling particularly overwhelmed. The walls were painted a deep shade of midnight blue and the floor was made of rich mahogany wood and adorned with a plush black carpet at the foot of his bed. There was a huge window that opened to a small balcony and dangling from his ceiling were string lights with small lanterns attached to them. 

The scent of lavender filtered through the air and Eren closed his eyes as he took a deep calming breath. Once he opened them again his eyes sought out the paintings on the walls of mountainous landscapes from all over the world. It had always been Eren’s dream to travel but after everything that had happened, he never felt right with the idea of going so far and leaving Armin and Mikasa behind. Although the restlessness and ache were constantly present, given the situation they were currently in, he was glad he had decided to stay relatively close by. The thought of the lives of the two people that meant the most to him being in danger while he was so far away...no... he wouldn’t be able to handle that.

The most important part of the room, though, was sitting on top of a small wooden bedside table that sat next to his king-sized bed. On top of the table was a large picture frame of a gorgeous woman. She had bright golden eyes and long chestnut hair as well as the warmest smile of any woman he had ever met. Every time Eren saw the picture it caused his heart to ache. It was the only photograph of his mother that he owned and the thought of some stranger seeing it and perhaps even touching it was enough to make Eren’s blood boil.

No. Levi would never be allowed inside his room. He walked over and picked up the frame, looking down at it with fond eyes for a second as he sighed wistfully. It was hard to believe he’d already spent 11 years on this Earth without her. The pain of her loss was as fresh as if it had just happened yesterday.  _ I wish you were here right now, mom. You’d know how to get me out of this mess. _

Eren put the frame down gently, now feeling much calmer after spending a few moments in his own space. With a renewed sense of energy, he walked over to his walk-in closet to pick an outfit for Levi to wear. The man hadn’t specified, only said he needed some clothes. So, with a wicked smirk, Eren picked out something he knew for a fact the gnome would hate and whistled a happy tune as he headed out of his room and back down the stairs. 

“Oh, fuck no.” 

He hadn’t even made it half-way down when the beautiful sound of Levi’s indignant cry reached his ears.  _ Ah, sweet-sweet bliss. _

Eren kept moving forward until he was standing in front of Levi with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. He held out the hot pink fuzzy robe with the matching bunny slippers in offering as he replied in a voice as sweet as honey, “What’s wrong, Levi? You said you needed something to wear, didn’t you? I figured I’d bring you something comfortable to lounge around in while you waited for your clothes to wash and dry. And it’s even my  _ favorite _ article of clothing I own. Look how reasonable I’m being! Now, take it. Unless you’d rather just walk around in the towel all day.” 

Levi stood there as still as a statue and glared at Eren as if he were imagining himself stabbing the taller man repeatedly. Eren assumed that glare had worked wonders on bending the will of others in the past, however, he would not budge. There were only so many ways that he could fight back right now, and he planned to employ every one of them. 

With an annoyed growl, Levi wrenched the robe and slippers from Eren’s hands and muttered a dark, “stupid fucking brat,” as he walked away to go change. The brunet couldn’t help but do a small victory dance inside his head and the thought of seeing the small stern-looking man swallowed by a robe that was much too big on him accompanied by the slippers filled his heart with glee. 

He bounced back and forth on the balls of his feet as he waited patiently for the other man to return. After a solid ten minutes, the sight that came into view and greeted him was way too much for him to handle and he couldn’t help but let out a loud bark of a laugh. The sleeves went down way past Levi’s arms, the rob was so long that the man had to lift it like the hem of a skirt as he walked, and the bunny slipper that peeked out underneath just about had Eren dying. 

Levi scowled so intensely that the taller male had to keep himself from making a joke about his face staying that way forever. What he wasn’t prepared for, however, was how difficult it would be to keep from calling his unwanted house guest cute. He honestly just wanted to curl up on the couch and cuddle with the tiny fuzzy bundle of hot pink but had a feeling that if he were to make such a suggestion, he might get murdered. 

Eren never thought there would come a day where he would thank Jean for one of the dumb ass gag gifts he had been given and yet, here he was. 

“You look dashing, Levi. I’m not sure why you don’t dress that way more often. Pink suits you,” Eren snickered behind a hand.

“Shut the fuck up before I beat the shit out of you.” 

“Oooh, so scared.”

“You should be.”

“Is that so? Hm, I’ve yet to be convinced. In any case, now that you are properly dressed and taken care of, I’m going to head out. I’ve got some errands to run, one of them being buying more food if I’m right in assuming you’ll be helping yourself to that as well.” 

“From what I saw earlier, you have plenty of food to last both of us at least another week. You need to come up with better excuses for leaving the house, Eren.” 

Eren crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall, looking down at Levi with contempt. “I don’t need a reason to leave my house. Unlike you, I’m not stuck here.”

He watched as Levi moved towards him, getting all up in the brunet’s personal space, and somehow, he seemed to be the only person who could still look menacing even when decked out in such a ridiculous outfit. 

“Are you sure about that? Do you honestly want to leave me here alone?” Levi’s gaze shifted to Fritz who was currently lounging on Eren’s living room sofa as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on.  _ Fuck, what he would give to be a cat right now with absolutely no worries in the world aside from eating, sleeping, and occasionally playing. _

“If you harm my cat in any way, I will kill you,” Eren spit the words out through gritted teeth as he leaned down so that he was face to face with Levi, the two gazes locked on one another intently. 

“Tell me, Eren. Have you ever killed someone before?” Levi asked with a smirk on his face, seemingly unperturbed by their sudden closeness. 

_ Iron. Everything smelled so intensely of iron that he could taste the metallic saltiness of it underneath his tongue. Golden eyes took in the scene around him, white walls and tiles splattered in the deepest shade of red with the occasional chunks of what appeared to be human flesh. Had he done that? His ears rang from the shrieks of terror that echoed off the walls and he found himself pressing his palms against them to block out the noise. It was loud...so loud. Why were people screaming? Why didn’t they shut up? He needed it to be quiet. He needed it to stop. Please, someone, make it stop. Make it stop. Make it st- _

“Fuck, Eren. You’re shaking like a leaf. What the hell is wrong with you?” 

Levi’s voice and the cool fingers that were now wrapped around his arm brought Eren out of his memories and he blinked while wrenching himself from Levi’s grip. _Fuck_. He hadn’t been pulled into a memory like that while awake in years. This was bad. 

“I’m fine. I’m leaving. Keep in mind what I said about the cat.” 

And with that Eren was out the door, in his car, and speeding away towards the only two people left on this earth who could help tame the monster that resided inside him like a parasite waiting to overtake its host. 

He needed to get rid of Levi and he needed to do it fast. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mentioned this before but just as a reminder, this fic is un-beta'd. If you see any glaring issues feel free to let me know. I'll be back with the next chapter soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is up a bit later than I intended, I've been working on a piece for Eren/Levi week and had a rather busy weekend but here it is! Thank you to everyone who has read this so far, it means a lot to me.

** _“It was written I should be loyal to the nightmare of my choice.”  
― Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness_ **

* * *

**Levi POV:**

“I’m going to kill him, Erwin.” Were the very first words that left Levi’s mouth as Erwin’s face appeared on his phone screen, bushy blond eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

_ “Levi, that’s not what we sent you there for an-wait. What are you wearing?” _

Before Levi could respond Hange’s face popped into view, their brown hair pulled back into its usual messy bun and glasses reflecting the light from the phone. A wide smile spread across their face as they took in Levi’s appearance and then the obnoxious cackling began. 

_ “Oh, that’s wonderful! Eren Yeager is a genius, I tell you. I must meet him one day; something tells me we would be the best of friends.” _

Levi rolled his eyes and flipped Hange off as he replied in a gruff tone, “He’s ridiculously uncooperative. He answered none of my questions and then ran off with his tail between his legs. I don’t know if I will be able to get any answers out of him by being the nice guy. I have half a mind to go in his room now that he isn’t home and take some clothes just to piss him off.”

Erwin looked thoughtful on the screen as he ran a hand over the undercut of his blond hair and hummed in slight amusement. While Levi was sure that Erwin found his current outfit to be just as humorous as Hange did, Erwin was much better at reigning himself in. It’s one of the reasons why the two of them made such good work partners and had been friends for so long. Erwin’s quiet nature and slowness to anger was the perfect balance to Levi’s aggressive and unwelcoming personality. 

_ “I think it would be best for you to do as he wishes for the time being. He may be uncooperative now but, if you can work on earning his trust, I believe in due time he will open himself up to you. Has there been any indications that he is what we are looking for?” _

Levi sat back on the sofa and crossed his right ankle over his left as he bit his lip in contemplation. Sure, there had been possible signs, but he wasn’t sure if it was enough to indicate that the serum had worked successfully on Eren. When he had first entered the house, it seemed as though Levi caught him by surprise and the younger male was hardly able to fight back, the exact opposite of what they had read the serum was able to do. At the same time, it was highly probable that Eren was holding himself back so as not to be discovered. 

“Perhaps.” He met Erwin’s icy blue eyes through the screen and held his gaze. “Earlier when I had attempted to go upstairs to his room, he moved faster than should be humanly possible. And when I asked if he had ever killed anyone he seemed to have gone through a traumatic flashback. His body was shaking, and his hands were clenched into fists. He left shortly after. It’s not exactly what we are searching for but, I have a feeling he is hiding something.” 

Erwin nodded once Levi had finished and turned to look at Hange, signaling that it was their turn to talk. Rather than sitting next to Erwin or simply taking the phone, they decided to plop themselves down on Erwin’s lap as their body practically vibrated with the excitement they must have been trying to contain.

_ “I have spent all day researching our Eren Yeager and have come up with the perfect plan! It appears our handsome man is, in fact, gay. Now you may be wondering why this fact is so important and that’s where my plan comes in. You see, Levi, you are a handsome single gay man as well. And, from what I have uncovered of Eren’s past partners, you’re just his type! Isn’t it exciting? So, all I need for you to do is make him fall in love with you and then bam! He will tell you everything you want to know. Brilliant, right?” _

Levi blinked once, twice, then a third time as he tried to digest what Hange had just told him. They wanted him to make Eren fall in love with him? His eyes narrowed and he clenched his jaw as he glared at Hange with as much mirth as he could muster. 

“Are you fucking crazy, Hange? That’s the most idiotic plan I have ever heard of. Eren detests me and I have no interest in him romantically. Besides, you do know this is _me_ we are talking about, correct? When has anyone ever fallen in love with me? Erwin, don’t tell me you agree with this lunatic?” 

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration and huffed as he looked away from the screen and at the orange tabby that was currently wrapping itself around his legs. Levi wasn’t normally one for cats, but he even had to admit that this little shit was cute. How would Eren react if he knew that his cat liked their house intruder? Levi imagined that the boy wouldn’t be all that happy. 

His eyes flicked back to the screen when Erwin cleared his throat to get his attention once more and he groaned when he saw the apologetic look on the man’s face. 

_ “I know it’s not ideal, however, love clouds people’s minds and influences their decisions. You are free to try other tactics if you think they will work better, though, you shouldn’t rule this one out. Besides, you can be oddly charming when you want to be.” _

Levi was so annoyed with where this conversation had gone that he simply hung up the phone and threw it across the room as he growled out a “fucking eyebrows and shitty glasses, always sticking me with the dirty work.” 

He was, quite honestly, the worst possible person they could have picked for this job. Strength wise he had been the obvious choice. If Eren Yeager did turn out to be some mutant with superhuman abilities Levi would be the only one able to take him on. That had been the original plan. Infiltrate the house and get the boy to cough up some answers and, if things got out of control, subdue him. 

Levi could do that. But..._make him fall in love?_ That was way more up Erwin’s alley. The blond was Captain America in the flesh with his tall stature, broad shoulders, chiseled jawline, and a good sense of humor. Levi was, well, the exact opposite of that. He’d had his fair share of relationships over the years, but he couldn’t remember when the last time he dated was. It seemed that now all he could manage was to coax someone into his bed for a night and he was quite content with that. 

He would have to come up with another plan considering that Erwin and Hange had gone mad. Maybe if he continued to threaten the lives of Mikasa and Armin it would cause Eren to eventually cave. He could even take it a step further by bringing Jean and Annie into the fray, see how much that managed to set Eren off. If he couldn’t get the brunet to talk to him, he could always push him to the point where he showed Levi what he needed to know. 

For now, though, he had to come up with a plan on how to get the hotheaded mess that was Eren Yeager to return. He couldn’t have him constantly running away as that would cause this whole plan on remaining a house guest to be useless. 

Just then, the cat bounded up into his lap purring full force as it began to knead its paws into the soft fabric of his robe. Levi absentmindedly ran his hand over the fur on its back when an idea suddenly struck him. 

“Sorry kitty,” he murmured while lifting the tiny beast from his lap and placing it next to him on the couch. He then made his way into the kitchen where he found a giant bag of cat food as well as a stock of cans of wet food. He picked it all up at once and whistled a tune as he made his way outside and towards the woods which is where he found himself doing something he never thought he would do. Emptying cans of nasty stinking wet food one by one. The bag was easy enough, but this was meticulous and, fuck, that smell had his nose crinkling in disgust. Levi had no idea how any animal in their right mind would find this worth eating. 

After he finished his task, he dutifully got rid of all the evidence and pulled out his phone to dial a phone number that he was certain the unsuspecting victim on the other end would be vehement about him having. 

_ “Hello?” _Eren’s confused voice filled his ear after only a few rings and Levi found himself relaxing in relief that the boy was willing to pick up an unknown phone call.

“Eren, your cat won’t stop meowing and I think it’s hungry. You need to get food and bring it back.”

_ “Levi? What the fuck? How do you have my number? Also, there is cat food in the kitchen cupboard go find it and feed him yourself.” _ Eren’s voice had quickly switched from confused to annoyed and Levi was left wondering yet again how the fuck Hange thought this kid could ever fall in love with him.

“I already checked and it seems you are mistaken, there is no food for this heathen in this house and seeing as I not only do not have a car but can’t leave the premises, I cannot feed it for you.” 

_ “Levi. What did you do with the food? You are a fucking piece of shit I swear to god. I can’t believe this, seriously? I just went out and bought food for him two days ago do you even know how much that costs? How did you even get rid of it? I thought you said you couldn’t leave the house.” _

Oh, that voice. Eren was livid and Levi imagined that if the taller man was standing in front of him, he would be shaking in much the same way as he did only hours before. Well, their friendship certainly wasn’t progressing in the right direction but at least it seemed he was about to convince Eren to at least come back home. 

“Ah, yes. See, about that, I lied. Now that the FBI is gone, I can leave the house just not the property.” 

_ “Well if that’s the fucking case when I get back you can live the fuck outside.” _

_ Click. _

Well, that certainly went as well as he suspected it would. Levi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in between his thumb and forefinger. Why was it that Eren had to be so difficult? Well, he would probably be just as pissed if some stranger showed up in his home, but it wasn’t as though Levi was being completely unreasonable. He didn’t want to harm Eren, it was the exact opposite. The Survey Corps wanted to offer Eren and his friends' help and protection. If the infamous titan serum had worked it was only a matter of time until Eren lost control and was apprehended by the FBI who would, no doubt, conduct many more tests and experiments and utilize him for atrocious things. 

The worst part was that none of them even knew the extent of the abilities the serum would provide its host. They needed to get Eren to cooperate and with how much Levi seemed to be pissing him off it appeared less and less likely to happen.

He had once been told by Petra that food was the way to anyone’s heart and so, he decided he would make Eren the best fucking meal he’d ever had in his life. Surely that would at least earn him some forgiveness...right? _Fuck what have I gotten myself into?_

**Eren POV: **

“Eren, what was that all about?” Mikasa asked as she peeked her head around the kitchen wall to find his form that was now slouched in exhaustion on the couch. 

“Levi fucking somehow managed to destroy all of Fritz’s food and now claims he is meowing from hunger. I need to go get him food, which means I have to go back to the house and deal with this god damn midget who is seemingly intent on making my life a living hell.” 

Mikasa frowned and motioned for Armin, who was currently cooking dinner, to follow her in the living room where the two sat on either side of the brunet who now had his head cupped in his hands. She rested a head on his shoulder, midnight black hair tickling his neck, and sighed gently. 

“Eren, you don’t have to go back tonight. Fritz won’t starve after just one night without food. Stay here with us where you are safe. I’m worried that if you spend too much time around Levi, he’s going to cause you to snap.” 

Eren grit his teeth in frustration at Mikasa’s words. He knew she was partly right but the insinuation that he wouldn’t be able to control himself sent a pang of annoyance tainted with hurt through him. Mikasa had always been protective of him, even before everything with Grisha had happened, and although he welcomed it, for the most part, it could also be overbearing. He didn’t want to be a burden. His friends had their own lives and Eren needed to be able to control and handle himself without them having to constantly be present. 

“Mikasa, I understand that you are worried, but I’ll be fine. I’ve worked so hard to get to this point and it has been years since I last lost control. I won’t let him win. Plus, if he is willing to get rid of Fritz’s food to force me to come back home who knows what he would come up with next. I have a feeling he would be willing to play much dirtier to get what he wants.” 

Armin placed his hand on Eren’s shoulder but chose not to speak. It was well known that once Eren made up his mind about something there was no use in trying to convince him to change it. While Mikasa would normally continue to push and prod, Armin always took Eren’s decisions in stride and prepared a strategy for if something were to go wrong. They worked well as a trio and as much as Eren wished daily that they weren’t involved in this shit show, he was beyond thankful to have them here with him. He wasn’t sure if he would have remained sane if not for their constant love and support. 

Knowing that the conversation was over, they each stood up and hugged while saying their goodbyes. Eren left the apartment slowly, eyes and ears searching for the possibility of anyone watching, and when he deemed it safe, he got into his car and drove to the grocery store. 

Since it was late and the normal pet store he frequented was closed, he had to make do with basic cat food and he just knew that Fritz wasn’t going to be happy with him. Maybe he spoiled the feline a bit too much but seeing as it was just the two of them and Fritz had saved his life more times than he could count, he owed him at least that much. 

It took Eren far longer than it should have to arrive back to his home and once he did, he had to sit in the driveway and take a few deep breaths to calm himself. He wanted nothing more than to walk inside and cuss Levi out before making him sleep outside, but he couldn’t allow the other man to get to him. He was still planning on making him sleep outside, though.

When Eren walked inside the first thing that he noticed was the incredible smell wafting through the air. It immediately stopped him in his tracks as the thought of home and his mother's cooking slapped him right across the face. It was the smell that all college kids grew gleeful about after long months of microwaved meals and bags of chips eaten in between classes. The smell that offered nothing but comfort and promises of warm cuddles on the couch with a hot chocolate in hand and funny movie playing on the TV.

He closed the door softly and made his way to the kitchen where he, unsurprisingly, found Levi standing in front of the stove wearing an apron and humming to himself as he worked magic. Eren’s anger had instantly evaporated as his mouth began to water and his stomach grumbled. It wasn’t uncommon for Eren to forget to eat as his mind was often occupied with fending off memories of the past and he found himself frowning at the sudden pain that he felt deep within his gut. _When was the last time he had anything to eat? Had it been that long?_

“Ah, you’re back. It took you so long that I wasn’t sure if you were still coming home. I was about to call you. I made my rendition of French onion soup with a homemade chicken Caesar salad and I was quite impressed to see you have a rather decent taste in wine. The Pinot Grigio should pair well with this.” 

Levi spoke so suddenly that is caused Eren to jump a bit and he grumbled in slight displeasure before going to fill up Fritz’s bowl with food. The orange ball of fur instantly came bounding over when the sound of the food hitting the bowl filled the air and as soon as he sniffed it, he stuck his nose up in the air in disgust.

“Fritz don’t be like that. The pet store was closed so I couldn’t get you your usual and you’ll just have to deal with this tonight. Because of this asshole over here, I have no other options.” 

Fritz swatted at his leg in annoyance and then did something that made Eren’s jaw drop. The little shit trotted over to Levi and rubbed his head against his leg, a purr beginning to permeate through the air. A second later Levi was placing a plate full of tuna on the ground and was rewarded with a lick to the hand and a gentle meow. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Eren exclaimed as he threw his hands up in the air. “I clearly came home for no reason, considering you've decided to win over my cat with tuna. Do you think that’s somehow going to help you? Is that what you’re trying to do with me? Is this why you cooked dinner? Well, hate to break it to you Levi but, I’m not a cat and I’m not going to suddenly fall in love with you because you’ve cooked me food.” 

Levi straightened himself up and glanced at Eren over his shoulder with a raised brow and the hint of a smirk on those frustratingly kissable looking lips. “Does that mean you don’t want to eat any?”

Eren jutted out his bottom lip in a pout and crossed his arms over his chest as he sat down at the kitchen table. How was it that after knowing one another for such a short amount of time Levi was so easily able to get under his skin? Even Jean couldn’t rile Eren up this much and that was saying a lot. 

Levi chuckled softly and the sound was so unexpected that it shocked Eren who looked up at the man in wonder. He found himself wishing, for some reason, that he had been able to see what the raven looked like when he smiled. Holy shit, was Levi honestly winning him over with food? Eren hadn’t even tasted it yet and here he was acting like some smitten teenager_. Pull yourself together Yeager. _

However, he couldn’t help but let a moan slip out once the food was placed in front of him and he took his first bite. To say that it was delicious was an understatement. Eren had tasted his fair share of French onion soup and it had _never _been like this. The flavors burst inside his mouth causing his senses to go wild and he found himself going back for more and more until, suddenly, his bowl was empty.

“Would you like some more?” Levi asked in amusement, causing Eren to look up at him for the first time since before he had been given the food. 

Eren could feel his cheeks burning in embarrassment and he looked away, nodding his head ever so slightly. Levi obliged before sitting back down to continue with his meal and, somehow, the second bowl was even better than the first. In record time Eren had consumed three bowls of soup, one bowl of salad, and four glasses of wine. 

He hadn’t even been aware that he had drunk so much wine until he stood up to help wash the dishes and felt his steps waver a bit. Fuck, he had let Levi intoxicate him! That must have been the asshole's plan all along. Get Eren drunk and hope he had a loose tongue. _Well jokes on you, dwarf, my tongue in staying in my mouth where it belongs! _

“What did you just say, Eren?” 

_ Oh, fuck. Had he said that out loud? _ “If you’re going to keep cooking like this, maybe it won’t be so bad having you around.” _There, that’s better. Wait. No. That’s not what he wanted to say either! _

Eren abandoned the kitchen and ran towards the living room instead where he plopped himself on the couch and hid behind one of his giant throw pillows. Had Levi even had anything to drink? They had barely talked throughout dinner and, yet, Eren had been so distracted that he let himself get carried away. This was bad, Eren wasn’t a good drunk. Sure, he kept alcohol around, but he only ever drank a little at a time. Being drunk tended to make him sleep heavier and sleeping heavier made it more difficult to pull himself from his nightmares. 

Eren’s face was still buried in the pillow when he felt the weight of the couch sink signifying that Levi had finished in the kitchen and decided to join him. _Please go away. Please go away._

“I’m glad you enjoyed my cooking, Eren. I was thinking earlier and since you and I are going to be roommates for a while why don’t we play a little question game? I think it’d be a great way to get to know one another, don’t you agree?” 

Eren peeked at Levi over the pillow and found himself swallowing loudly at the smile that had appeared causing the man to look infinitely more attractive than he already was. No, he couldn’t do this. Just because Levi was attractive didn’t mean shit. The man didn’t have an interest in Eren, only in what Eren had to offer. All anyone had ever wanted was to take and take and take until there was nothing left, and he wouldn’t allow that to happen ever again. 

“I-I’m going to go to bed, Levi. Thank you for dinner. I still would rather you sleep outside but now that would make _me_ the asshole. There are a few spare bedrooms upstairs, pick the one furthest away from my room.” 

And then, with a heavy heart, Eren made his way to his room. He had made his decision in that lab long ago when the monster within him had been awakened. He could belong to only that beast, that nightmare that had consumed his very soul. Levi wouldn’t be getting what he wanted. Not today, not ever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if there are any mistakes as I'm posting this late at night and have work in just a few hours. Please let me know if there are any glaring issues and I'll be sure to fix them. Thanks for reading and I'll see you soon for the next chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some heavy themes in this chapter at the beginning of Eren's POV, please read with caution. It shouldn't be anything too terrible, however, I always like to leave warnings for my readers.

** _ “The mind of man is capable of anything--because everything is in it, all the past as well as the future”  _ **

** _ ― Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness  _ **

* * *

** Levi POV: **

It had been two weeks since Levi had intoxicated Eren in the hopes that it would make the boy’s tongue lose enough to spill his secrets. Perhaps it hadn’t been the... _ best _ ...choice, however, it was all he had been able to come up with at the time. And, now, he was suffering for it. Levi had always gone by his mantra of never regretting the choices one made, but it was hard not to feel regret given his current situation. 

Which is why he was now on the phone with Hange while Eren was off galivanting who knows where this time around.

“I don’t know what else to do, Hange. I cook for him nearly every night and it’s not like he doesn’t enjoy it. The kid eats like a fucking pig. He even cooked for me last night as thanks so, I know it must mean  _ something _ . But, fuck, this is going nowhere. How long am I going to be stuck in this house with nothing but a cat and an insufferable roommate?” 

_ “You let him cook for you? Levi, this is a miracle. You never let anyone cook for you unless you are there eyeing them like a hawk the entire time. I know I told you to make him fall for you, but don’t you go doing the same thing! We need this information, honey.”  _

Levi rolled his eyes at Hange and scoffed. “Yeah, right, four eyes. I only stayed away because I doubt he would have appreciated me watching his every move. I’m trying to get him to like me but he barely fucking talks at the dinner table and, when he does, it’s about mundane topics.” 

Levi paused and rubbed his face with both hands. He was tired, a lot more than he was letting on. It had always been typical for him to get little more than four to five hours of sleep a night but, since moving into Eren’s, his insomnia had worsened. If sleeping in a house he was unfamiliar with wasn’t bad enough, the racket Eren created throughout the night only managed to worsen his situation. It appeared the brunet suffered from intense nightmares that caused him to roll around in bed noisily or pace around all hours of the night. 

_ “You’ll be okay, midget. I know you are way out of your comfort zone with this one, but, if anyone can be successful with a mission such as this, it’s you. Try to come up with more ways to get him to stay around the house, even if it means pissing him off. You aren’t going to get anywhere by only interacting with him for an hour a day.” _

Levi narrowed his eyes and glared at Hange, wondering why it was that he even bothered calling to ask them for advice when they just told him what he previously knew. He’d already come up with a slew of excuses to drag the brunet back home and wasn’t sure how many more he could concoct. 

Sure, the option to threaten the life of Eren’s friends if he didn’t stick around more was always there. Levi had nearly used it out of frustration quite a few times already and yet, each time, something held him back. Perhaps it was the constant look of pain in those green eyes or the deep purple eye bags, nearly worse than his own, that decorated the skin underneath. He had never considered himself to be a soft man but the thought of adding more torment to the brunet’s life seemed too cruel, even for him. Something about Eren struck a chord deep within his heart and he honestly wanted nothing more than to help him.

Levi had meticulously read over the files they managed to uncover in the months leading up to the operation. His eyes had not only seen the words that revealed the horrors of what had been done to Eren but seen the pictures as well. The details of the experimentation to test whether the serum’s healing abilities had been successful...the scars that decorated the tan skin. And the cherry on top? All of this was written by the boy’s father without a single care in the world.

What had made it even worse was the fact that it had started at the tender age of 13 and continued for six years until Grisha had somehow disappeared and the entire thing had been deemed unsuccessful and shut down. Levi found it hard to believe that Eren was still a functioning adult who cracked a small smile now and then, even if it were merely directed towards his cat. 

He wanted, no,  _ needed _ to unravel the mystery that was Eren Yeager. Not out of curiosity, though even he had to admit he was indeed curious, for the sake of the mission. Farlan had barely been able to get ahold of the files detailing the experimentation, which he believed to have been tampered with, let alone bypass the firewalls put in place to get the names of Eren’s two best friends. Whoever had been the one that corrupted and hid everything had been good, Farlan had never experienced the feeling of being outsmarted before. 

The thought of his comrades working hard to see this mission through spurred a fire within Levi. No matter how difficult the situation was, he would do whatever it took to accomplish his goal. If that meant hurting Eren in the end, well, he supposed he would have to deal with it as he always had...by tucking the pain away and moving forward. That was what Levi’s life had always been, from the moment he was a child living on the streets beating strangers up and stealing from them to take care of him and his mother to the moment he had killed his first man. As much as he hated the thought of causing Eren any further pain, he had awakened the monster within himself long ago and it was far too late to turn back now. 

** Eren POV:  **

_ “Eren, you understand why I have to do this, right? If we had a serum like this when your mom got sick, she would still be alive and with us today. I know this is painful, but I need you to cooperate with me. The sooner we accomplish our goal, the sooner you will be free,” Grisha said as he stood above him with a knife in hand.  _

_ Eren never understood why his father felt the need to tell him to cooperate, it wasn’t as if he had a choice. The seventeen-year-old boy was currently strapped tightly on to a metal table and, even with the serum coursing through his body, he hadn’t grown strong enough yet to break his chains. He clenched his jaw and turned to look away from Grisha’s wide green-blue eyes. He used to equate the color to that of the sea right before an oncoming storm, beautiful and terrifying all at the same time. And, that’s exactly what Grisha was.  _

_ From the moment Eren’s mom had become sick, something within Grisha had changed. The once kind doctor full of laughter and smiles had begun to quiet down, often left brooding in his study hours into the night. Eren was too young to understand what was going on, too young to grasp what the mind of man was capable of. It was only after his mother had passed and Grisha had whisked him away to a secluded underground lab that, for the first time in his life, the thought of those dark waters and drowning beneath the waves truly frightened him.  _

_ _

_ It had been over three years since these experiments had started and Eren was used to the pain by now. It was never more than needles being shoved into his skin, sometimes far enough to pierce the bone, or cuts deep enough to scar but never unbearable. Each time, Grisha promised they were almost to their goal. Promised that this would be the last time Eren would have to endure such pain. And, each time, his father was proven to be a liar. Eren no longer held on to hope for his freedom. Instead, he hoped for the day when he wouldn’t wake up. _

_ _

_ His hands curled into fists as his father leaned closer, breath puffing against his face in short gasps as the words, “I’m sorry”, slipped past lips stained the color of lies. And then, agony. Eren’s pupils dilated and his eyes grew wide as his mouth opened and a half scream half snarl emerged from his throat. This was far worse than any pain he had ever experienced. The knife had been plunged into his side and twisted causing his abdomen to burn as though he had been thrown into flames.  _

_ _

_ He slammed his head against the metal table and writhed around in a vain attempt to get away from the pain. The knife continued to be rotated around in a slow circle, the eades of the blade caressing his insides and greedily tearing away pieces in hunger. His nails dug into his palms hard enough to draw blood, the liquid seeping from his hands and dripping on to the floor like wax melting from a candle.  _

_ _

_ Something began to stir inside of him then, a liquid fire bursting through his veins. With a strength he did not previously possess, Eren broke one of his wrists from the chains and used his free hand to push against Grisha’s chest hard enough to send the man flying across the room. With a roar, he ripped the knife from his abdomen and clutched at the wound where the last remnants of his innocence seeped out. From across the room, Grisha smiled wickedly and began to slowly clap, the sounds echoing off the white walls ominously.  _

_ _

_ “Excellent, Eren. You did so well. Now, be a good boy and lay back down for me. We’ve got some more work to do.”  _

_ _

_ Eren’s bout of inhuman strength left him as soon as it had come, and he vainly wrestled with the remaining chain as sobs wracked his body. He couldn’t do that again, there was no way. He couldn’t...he couldn’t... _

_ _

_ “Eren! Eren! EREN WAKE UP!” _

_ _

Eren’s eyes flew open and he didn’t even think as he wrapped his hand around the throat of the man hanging above him. How was it possible that Grisha had come back? They had wiped his memory clean of the success of his experiments, leaving him with only the knowledge that he had tortured his sole son only for his testing to fail. Grisha should have been far away somewhere hiding, not in his room looming over him like death coming to collect his promised soul. 

He wasn’t in the right state of mind as he used his strength to push himself out of bed and fling Grisha up against the bedroom wall. Fingers tightened around the neck within their grasp causing his father to gasp in agony and all Eren could see was red. Red for all the pain his father had caused. Red for the childhood his father had stolen from him. Red for all the blood that had been wrongly spilled. Grisha deserved this. He deserved to feel the same torment he had spent six years forcing upon Eren. 

“E-Eren...s-stop...I... can’t...b-breathe. It’s...it’s L-Levi,” a deep voice wheezed out as a fist connected with his abdomen hard enough to make him feel the bruise that would blossom for only a few moments but not hard enough to shake him of his reverie. 

Why was Grisha saying something about Levi? How did Grisha know him? Had Levi been working with his father the entire time? All along, had he planned to lure Eren into a false sense of security so that he would let his guard down? 

A sudden punch to the face had Eren cursing, however, when he swiveled around to look Grisha in the eye and tell him how much of a piece of shit he was, he found himself blinking in shock when silver eyes filled with pain stared back at him. 

This wasn’t Grisha. 

“FUCK!” 

Eren quickly released Levi from his grip and backed away until the back of his knees hit the bed where he collapsed, all the feeling in his legs leaving him. He could have just killed Levi. _Oh shit_. What was he wearing? Were his veins showing? Had his eyes changed? _No... no... long sleeves._ Ever since Levi had moved in, he’d always worn clothes that would cover up most of his body. And his eyes...they wouldn’t have completely changed unless he had been about to lose control. 

Eren cradled his head in his hands and let a long sigh leave him all in one go. That had been too close for comfort. He needed to get Levi out of his house, and he needed to do it fast. If he were to kill him, he’d have to risk the rest of whatever organization Levi was part of coming after not only him, but his friends as well. He couldn’t put their lives on the line like that. 

“Fuck, Levi. Why did you do that? You’ve read my files; I know you have. Don’t even fucking try to lie to me by saying you have no idea what I’m talking about,” Eren ground out, voice slightly muffled by his hands. 

Levi had slid down the wall and was clutching his neck with one of his hands as his breath came out in pained, shallow gasps. Eren had no idea how hard he had squeezed but, from the sound of it, he’d done quite a number on the man. This was bound to raise some suspicions for sure, however, this time around Eren had a legitimate excuse. He was immersed in a horrifying nightmare only to be awoken by someone he barely knew leaning over him, arms on either side of his body like a cage. Why did Levi think that, out of all positions, that was the best one to wake Eren up in?  _ Fucking midget idiot piece of- _

_ _

“Y-you... _ huff _ ...you were screaming, Eren,” Levi said gruffly. “It-it sounded like...you were getting tortured in here. I... I tried shaking you b-but, fuck th-this hurts, you wouldn’t wake up.” 

Eren slid his hands down his face and let them drop in between his legs as his eyes drifted over to lock with Levi’s. The way that Levi looked at him had changed; he could tell that the man across the room saw him as a threat now. Saw him as someone who, if they wanted to, could pluck his life away as though it were a mere flower sprouting from the earth. 

“You have to leave, Levi. I can’t do this. _This_ is the reason I don’t let people come here. _This_ is the reason why I live out here all alone. I spent years being awoken by pain. Years wishing that my life would end. I don’t want to hurt anyone else. All I want is freedom. That’s all. Is it too much to ask for?” Eren’s voice broke at the end and he had to look away from those eyes that were staring straight into his broken soul. He wasn’t going to break down, he couldn’t. Breaking down meant showing weakness and showing weakness meant giving Levi the power to win. 

He’d never even told Armin and Mikasa of his desire for death, hadn’t had the heart to instill that knowledge upon them after all he’d done for them. Why he felt comfortable enough telling Levi, well, perhaps it was because when he looked into the other man’s eyes, he could see Levi’s own monster lying deep within. Levi wasn’t dangerous for the sole fact that he already knew too much, no. Levi was dangerous because he offered Eren quite possibly the only soul in the world that could understand his own. Something of that magnitude could be the end of him. 

“Eren, you know I can’t do that,” Levi’s voice was still thick with underlying pain; however, he seemed to have a far easier time speaking now. “You’re right, I did read your files. Which means I also know they were tampered with. Until you decide to tell me the truth, I’m staying.” 

Eren groaned in annoyance as he stood from the bed and walked over to where Levi was still slouched against the wall. He couldn’t help but smirk when he finally noticed that the shorter man was wearing the accursed robe and wondered if it was possible that Levi secretly liked the article of clothing. He’d have to ask, though, now didn’t seem to be the time.

“Come on,” Eren said as he extended a hand towards Levi, “I’ll make you a cup of chamomile tea with some honey for your throat as an apology.” 

Levi hesitated for a moment, eyeing Eren wearily before a shift overcame him and he grasped the taller man’s hand allowing him to assist in getting him up and off the floor. Eren let go of Levi’s hand rather quickly, as if those long fingers were flames licking at his palms, before turning and heading down towards the kitchen quietly. 

It didn’t take long for Eren to get two cups of tea ready for the both of them. Making and drinking tea had become one of the only rituals with the ability to calm him down over the years. It was like second nature. Boiling the water to the exact temperature, pouring it over the loose tea leaves at a specific angle, and letting it steep for the perfect amount of time before adding  _ just  _ the right amount of honey. 

There was a palpable shift in the air as Levi sat across from him and sipped at his tea, Eren refusing to meet the other man’s eyes. He wrapped his fingers around the mug and allowed the warmth to seep deep within his bones, slowly lifting and taking a sip in hopes that the floral liquid would quell the nerves shooting through his body. 

Levi had been with him for two weeks already and it was only now that Eren was truly beginning to feel nervous in his presence. Something had changed between them during that interaction in his room, something significant. And, for the first time since he had killed his very first person, Eren was scared. He couldn’t lose himself to Levi. He refused. Green eyes finally shifted to lock with silver.  _ You won’t win. _

ϾϾϾ

** Levi POV:  **

** **

They didn’t talk during tea like they normally might at one of their shared dinners. Instead, they both kept eye contact with one another as though they were both trying to unravel the mystery of the person that was sitting across from them. Levi could see the challenge in Eren’s eyes, the brunet was telling him without words that no matter what Levi did, he wouldn’t get the answers he sought. 

Levi simply smirked before taking a sip out of the mug clasped in his hands. He was only slightly annoyed at the fact that Eren somehow managed to make tea even better than Levi himself, a fact the little shit across from him never needed to know. However, his annoyance was quickly quelled as the warm tea laced with honey coated his sore throat causing him to hum in bliss. He’d never known what it felt like to nearly have your windpipe crushed and almost, keyword being _almost_, felt bad for all of those he had inflicted such pain on before.

Later, long after they had parted ways and he was lying in bed and staring up at the ceiling in contemplation, Levi would remember the way that Eren’s eyes had changed when strong fingers gripped his throat. How gold began to blossom around thin black pupils and spread like wet paint, swallowing green in its wake. He’d remember how Eren looked nothing like the gloomy brunet that slinked around his house as though he was constantly waiting for someone to attack him from the shadows. Instead, he appeared before Levi as a titan ready to devour the entire earth for the sake of his freedom.

He’d recall the way that hand felt around his throat, threatening to choke the life out of him. How, for the first time in his life, Levi had let someone get the best of him. There was a strength that existed there, lying dormant until coaxed out by hunger like an animal after a long winter. Levi could have fought back harder, could have stopped Eren before it got too far. However, he wanted to feed those flames and watch as they crawled their way up Eren’s body and melted that exterior until all that was left was the monster hiding underneath a false exterior. 

He’d finally caught a glimpse of the real Eren Yeager and it was only a matter of time until the truth emerged. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I supposed it's about time I shared my [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7IGjkLESCZktjM5kbngY5S?si=ktoOBUVbSG-zunlEwKxLug) for this fic. More songs are likely to be added.
> 
> Sorry if there are any errors in this, I'm posting late as per usual because that seems to be when all of my inspiration hits me. :') Please let me know if you see anything that needs to be fixed, constructive criticism is always welcome. 
> 
> As always, thank you to those who have taken the time to read and give this a chance so far. I know it's not much yet but, I'm hoping to grow as a writer as I continue forward and for this to turn into another story I can be proud of.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to get this finished and posted last night but, I recently bought Stardew Valley for my phone and I was a bit distracted. 
> 
> Things are moving forward!

** _“Droll thing life is—that mysterious arrangement of merciless logic for a futile purpose._ **

** _The most you can hope from it is some knowledge of yourself—that comes too late—_ **

** _a crop of inextinguishable regrets.” _ **

** _-Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness _ **

* * *

**Levi POV:**

It had been three weeks since the nightmare incident with Eren and, still, Levi was coming up empty-handed. He had yet to tell Erwin or Hange about the way Eren’s eyes had begun to shift from green to gold or about the way he suddenly seemed to have possessed an extreme amount of strength. Part of him wondered if he had been seeing what he _wanted _to see and not what was the reality. The other part, the part he pushed to the side, wished to keep the information to himself for selfish reasons. 

What could those be? Levi was the one who desired..._needed_...to push Eren to the brink of destruction. If he told Erwin and Hange that there was even a hint that the serum had worked, they would insist on moving in and taking Eren back with them now. Levi had no doubt a situation of that caliber would cause Eren to break and he didn’t want anyone else in his life to die on his watch. No. He would be the one to ultimately take the monster on.

The problem was he still didn’t know how to get Eren to open himself up to him. The nightmares had continued nearly every night; however, Levi couldn’t intervene as Eren had resorted to now locking his door. And, when he learned Levi was an expert lock picker, he had gone as far as putting dressers and drawers and various other barricades in front of the door making it impossible for Levi to open. 

If Levi ever brought up the nightmares Eren would simply roll his eyes and say, “You’ve already read my file. Do you really need to ask?”

And the answer was yes. Yes, Levi needed to ask. He needed Eren to trust him. He needed Eren to tell him all his deepest and darkest secrets. Sadly, this was territory Levi was vastly unfamiliar with. He wasn’t the most trusting person, himself, and he didn’t know how to make people like him. 

The cooking seemed to be working in the sense that Eren was now coming home early enough practically every night just so he could eat the food while it was fresh. Levi had even managed to catch glimpses of shamrock irises shining with delight when he made a dessert to accompany dinner. Still, it wasn’t enough. Some new tactics were necessary.

And that’s why Hange was here right now bringing him a bag full of his clothes. It had been over a month since Levi had interacted with anyone aside from Eren in person and, although he would never admit it out loud, he missed the company of his teammates and friends. It wasn’t that he disliked Eren’s company, it was the exact opposite. The problem was that deep down to the core he and Eren were too much alike and it was bringing out the parts of Levi that he wished to keep buried so far within himself that one would have to crack him open and tear his insides apart to see what lay beneath. 

He needed Hange and their maniacal laughter and ridiculous ideas to pull him out of his stupor. He needed Erwin and his calm demeanor and level-headedness to remind him that at the end of the day he was human, and it was okay to make mistakes. He needed Farlan and Isabel, the only people in the world who-prior to a certain Eren Yeager-had ever managed to make him crack a smile. 

“Here you go shorty, a bag full of the sexiest clothing you own. May I ask exactly what it is you are planning to do?” 

Levi grabbed the bag from Hange’s hands and slung it over his shoulder as his eyes roamed the property. It wasn’t safe for Hange to remain here for much longer. If he wasn’t constantly worrying about Eren showing up he was worried about the prying eyes of the FBI. 

“The kid is attracted to me. He wouldn’t ever admit it, of course, but I have seen the way his eyes linger sometimes. If I’m going to use that to my advantage, I need more than just my work clothes and a fuzzy pink bathrobe. You should leave now, Hange.” 

Instead of listening, they pushed themselves passed Levi and into Eren’s house. Levi hadn’t noticed before, but, Hange had a fanny pack on and when they opened it, he saw it was full of devices that had hidden cameras and mics inside of them.

“Not yet. From what you’ve told us, Eren doesn’t normally return home until around dinner time. Don’t worry, Farlan is nearby keeping an eye out for both Eren and any suspicious activity from our other friends. It’s been over five weeks, Levi, and while we trust you and know you’re the best at what you do...well...it’s taking too long. We need you back at headquarters. We’ve thought about switching you out with someone else, however, Erwin thinks that would agitate Eren and put us right back where we started. 

I’m going to bug every room in this house except for yours. And yes, that includes the bathroom. I know, I know. Don’t look at me like that. We have no choice, pumpkin. Now, let me do my job so I can get out of here and allow you to continue yours.” 

Although Levi didn’t agree with this method and had a feeling it wouldn’t take Eren long to figure out what was going on, he had no authority to go against Hange seeing as how they were simply doing what Erwin told them to. So, he stepped aside and huffed in annoyance as Hange bounded around the house excitedly. Bugging locations were part of their expertise and one of the things they enjoyed doing the most. A snoop at heart, this job was perfect for them. 

While Hange continued working, Levi made his way towards his room and began to unpack and hang his clothes. He pulled out a pair of skin-tight black jeans along with a form-fitting grey button-up, the color of the shirt meant to bring out his eyes. Hange had been kind enough to include his favorite pair of black combat boots, the ones that his friends had deemed as “the fuck-me boots”, which he slipped on and laced up with ease.

Once fully dressed and finally feeling like himself again, Levi made his way to the kitchen to cook something a bit different tonight. He needed to interact with Eren beyond simply sitting at the dining room table and eating so, tonight they would be having homemade pizza and watching a movie. Even if it didn’t result in many conversations, it would provide both with a sort of companionable comfort that he hoped would have Eren coming back craving more. 

“Levi-” Hange sidled up next to him and whined in his ear- “why don’t you ever cook for us? Eren truly is getting spoiled. Do you think you can make me a black forest cake when you come back? I miss stealing food from you.” 

Levi stepped to the side and waved them off with his hand, which was dusty from cheese, before replying in an annoyed tone. “Tch, shitty four eyes. Stop lingering and get your ass out of here. I’ll gladly bake you anything you’d like as soon as this mission is considered successful and complete. I have a job to do, shoo.” 

Hange placed a quick peck to his cheek, the shit that they were, before scurrying away and leaving the house quiet aside from the small snores coming from Fritz. Levi frowned as he continued to dress the pizza, his mind going to dark places. What would happen if they weren’t successful? The world didn’t know how corrupt the government had become and the Survey Corps was the only organization ready to take them on. If they got their hands on Eren, that would mean the end of the Survey Corps and the world as they knew it. 

The oven beeped, signaling it was ready, and Levi shook his head as he placed the pizza inside. There was no use in thinking that way as negativity often led to failure before success even had a chance. Levi had never failed a mission before and only once had any of his comrades ever died on his watch. He certainly wasn’t about to break his streak now. 

There were ten minutes left on the timer when Levi heard the door open indicating that Eren had returned for the night. He was a bit surprised as this was the earliest Eren had come back since Levi had entered his house and became a permanent roommate without permission. 

He turned around and leaned against the oven, quirking an eyebrow as Eren stopped in the middle of his tracks and stared at him in awe. Green eyes widened and tan cheeks flushed slightly as a heated gaze trailed over Levi’s body. 

“You-,” Eren floundered for words, reaching up to run a hand through his long hair which he had left down today- “you have new clothes? Did someone bring them here? Why didn’t you leave with them?” 

Levi rolled his eyes and scoffed at the brunet. “Eren, we’ve had this conversation a thousand times. I’m not leaving until you decide to be honest with me. I’ve made pizza and I’m going to watch a movie tonight, feel free to join me after you get yourself settled.” 

Eren cleared his throat and averted his eyes as the flush crept down his neck. Levi knew that what he was proposing sounded very much like a date and he was delighted in the way that Eren was reacting to it. 

“I, er, yeah. It’s been a while since I’ve watched a good movie. Give me a minute and I’ll be right back down.”

_ Hook, line, and sinker.  _ Levi pegged Eren for exactly who he was. A young man with a hard exterior who was secretly lonely and a romantic at heart. A smirk crawled across his mouth as he thought of all the new ways that he could tease the brunet and get him exactly where he wanted him to be. 

_ I’m on to you, Yeager. I’ll have you in my clutches in no time.  _

  
**Eren POV:**

Eren shut his door softly and leaned his back against it as he took a few deep breaths. _Holy shit. Fuck. He was so fucked. _He’d thought Levi was attractive from the moment he’d first lay his eyes on him; however, he’d been so fueled by rage it hadn’t exactly clicked. Now, though, he was slowly becoming used to the raven’s constantly stoic expressions, crude attitude, and relatively quiet demeanor. 

Most of the time it didn’t even feel like he had someone else in the house with him. Levi was meticulously clean and, although ironic considering their current circumstance, surprisingly un-invasive. He would ask the occasional personal questions from time to time but when Eren refused to answer he would simply shrug and either go back to doing his own thing or ask a new question. 

Eren still didn’t trust him, hell, he wouldn’t even go as far as saying that he liked him. However, Eren didn’t _mind _him and that was a problem. He couldn’t afford to become comfortable in the man’s presence, especially considering how attracted he was to him. And now, for some fucking reason, he had decided to agree to a pizza and movie night with the man. Something that sounded oddly like a date and had Eren’s insides churning. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d simply sat down with someone and enjoyed a movie. With Mikasa and Armin, he spent his days trying to figure out how someone had managed to break through Armin’s firewalls and keeping an eye on his father’s whereabouts. With other men, it was always one-night-stands full of lust and not even a hint of passion. Anything to make Eren forget, even if it was only for a short while and left him feeling unfathomably lonely afterward. 

With Levi, well, due to their unusual circumstance things had obviously been different from the start. Of course, he knew Levi wanted information from him but...he couldn’t help but enjoy their quiet nightly dinners and having someone else living in the house with him for the first time in five years. Fritz was an amazing companion but there was just something indescribably different about having a fellow human being to keep one company.

Eren knew he needed to be more careful, though. That stint with his nightmare a few weeks ago had nearly caused him to blow his cover and, although it was annoying to barricade his door nightly, he wasn’t taking any chances. 

After taking a few more calming breaths, Eren moved towards his dresser to sort through the items and find something comfortable to relax in. If he was eating pizza, he needed pants that weren’t going to be too tight because, knowing him, he’d eat four to five slices in the blink of an eye. It was while he began unbuttoning his pants that he got the eerie sensation that someone was watching him.

Then, he remembered. Levi had someone bring him clothes.

That, someone, had bugged his house.

His eyes narrowed as he slowly began to undress, making sure to put on a show for his audience. He wouldn’t let them know he knew what was going on, not yet. Eren wanted to enjoy this semblance of normalcy with Levi for the time being. However, once they parted ways for the night, whoever was watching better be ready. Eren didn’t take lightly to his privacy being invaded. 

With his head full of the words he was going to spew later, Eren made his way down to the kitchen finding his anger nearly dissipated as the smell of pizza wafted to his nose. His mouth watered and he found himself slightly confused when he entered the kitchen finding no pizza, along with no Levi, in sight. 

“Over here, Eren,” Levi’s deep voice called out from the living room. 

_ Shit. That’s right. Movie.  _

Eren swallowed loudly and moved towards the living room where he found Levi lounging on the couch with a large-sized pizza full of peppers, mushrooms, pepperoni, bacon, cheese, and spinach cut into an even twelve slices sitting on the coffee table in front of him. There was steam rising through the air and all the scents from the ingredients assaulted Eren’s nose causing his stomach to growl. 

Levi had poured himself a glass of white wine, however, learning from experience he had opted to give Eren some coke instead. He patted the area of the couch next to him and tilted his head to look up at Eren with a small smirk on his face.

“What? Are you suddenly shy? Come, sit. I can hear your stomach grumbling. Do you ever eat, kid?”

Eren huffed and plopped himself unceremoniously next to Levi as he reached out and grabbed a slice of pizza. “I’m not a kid, I’m 24. But you should already know that anyway. What movie did you pick?” 

“And I’m almost 32 so that makes you a kid in my eyes. We’re watching Interstellar, have you seen it?”

Eren blinked, clenching his jaw a bit at the mention of the movie. No, he hadn’t seen it. Mainly because the movie was nearly three fucking hours long. This asshole was doing this on purpose, trapping Eren here with him for hours on end. 

Rather than fall into his trap and show his annoyance, Eren decided to take a bite of pizza and couldn’t help the groan that fell from his lips at the taste. _What the fuck? Was everything this man cooked _perfect_? Seriously, this shit tasted as it came from God himself. _

“Where the fuck did you learn to cook like this?” He asked after swallowing the first bite. 

Levi chuckled as he slid a piece of pizza on to a plate, being much neater when it came to doing just about anything than Eren was. “My mother. She was French and one hell of a good chef. Now, quiet. We’ve got a movie to watch.” 

French? Levi was French? Eren wondered if that meant that Levi spoke the language fluently and found himself flushing at the thought of hearing foreign words tumble from those soft lips. He bit his bottom lip and turned his attention towards the television as the movie began to play, continuing to eat his pizza and take sips of his coke while images flicked across the screen. 

To his astonishment, Eren became engrossed in the film. True to his word he had eaten a solid five slices before calling it quits and sinking into the couch as food coma took over. The movie score was phenomenal, going along with the scenes amazingly, and Eren found himself wondering why he hadn’t taken the time to watch this movie previously. 

Everything about it was amazing. The love that Cooper had for his children, the beauty and mystery of space, the crippling anxiety of the unknown, the taste of loneliness, the feeling of regret, and the inevitability of death. Eren was so enraptured in the story that he failed to realize how close he and Levi had become on the couch. It was only when cool skin brushed against his that he jumped and let out a soft squeal before grumbling at his assailant. 

“Not funny, Levi. Stop. I need to see what’s going to happen next.” 

Levi didn’t answer and instead shifted so that his knee was touching Eren’s, the heat permeating through the fabric and causing his heart to pound inside his chest wildly. If it wasn’t for the movie, Eren surely would have been floundering for a distraction. The touch of another human was driving him mad with need and he grit his teeth against the sensation as the movie reached its climax.

Eren was awestruck once the credits rolled through. It hadn’t even felt like the two of them had been sitting there for nearly three hours. It was only when he felt a hand being placed gently on his thigh that he turned to look at Levi for the first time since the movie had begun. 

Levi looked mesmerizing. The room had become dark as the sun set in the sky and the glow from the television flitted across his face causing his eyes to shine like moonlight. His cheeks were painted pink from the amount of wine he had drunk throughout the film and his lips were parted just slightly, eyes lidded with what Eren could have swore looked like want. 

Levi leaned forward, hand trailing up Eren’s thigh slightly, a smirk playing on his mouth as Eren’s breath hitched. 

“We should do this again sometime, don’t you agree? I’m going to go to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow, Eren.” 

His voice had taken on a sultry note at the end causing heat to flare in Eren’s gut and it took all of his willpower to not reach out and grasp Levi’s wrist as the man got up and walked away, leaving Eren to clean up their mess. 

With shaky legs, Eren stood up and quietly got to work gathering dishes and washing them before turning off the tv and giving Fritz his dinner. He gently brushed his hand over the orange fur on Fritz’s back as he wondered what the hell was happening to him. He had honestly enjoyed his time with Levi and felt himself growing excited at the prospect of another movie night. At the prospect of spending more time with the mysterious man. 

He was falling right into Levi’s trap; he knew he was. Well, two could play at this game. He had felt the other man’s heated gaze on him more than once and knew Levi was just as attracted to him as he was. For now, though, Eren had something else to take care of. 

He walked back to the living room and stood on top of the coffee table getting eye level with the ceiling fan above him. 

“Did you enjoy the show?”

** Hange POV: **

Hange shrieked and jumped back, nearly falling out of their chair as Eren looked right into the camera lens and addressed them. How had he known? Hange was an expert at their job and never once had left a trace. It should have been impossible for him to figure out that they had bugged the house. 

_ “What? You didn’t think I would notice? Tell me, what did you enjoy more? Watching me undress in my room or watching Levi attempt to seduce me? Would you watch if I were to fuck him? If he were to fuck me? Do you think that would give you all of the answers you’re seeking?”  _

Hange gulped and stared intently back at the screen watching as green eyes filled with anger. There was a feral smile on the young man’s lips as he addressed his unknown watcher through the hidden camera. Hange had no idea what to do. Even if he had somehow found this one, there was no wa-

_ “132 cameras and mics are hidden around my house. Rather excessive, if you ask me. Playtime is over. Levi being in my house is bad enough and I will not tolerate any more intrusions. Tell your friends I say hi.”  _

How the fuck? Hange watched in horror as every screen went black and every mic went silent. They tried frantically to reinstate each device to no avail. With a groan, they leaned back in their chair and ran a hand over their face in exhaustion. This was going to be much more difficult than any of them had first thought. 

Hange pulled out their cell phone and dialed a number, tapping their finger against the keyboard as they waited for the person on the other line to pick up.

_ “What did you find?” _

“Erwin, we’ve got a much bigger problem on our hands than we initially thought.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I normally try to update this bad boy every other week (twice a month) but next weekend I'm traveling for a few days and the week after I'm going on a mini-vacation to get a tattoo by an incredibly talented artist coming to the US all the way from Germany! I'm so excited and I'll do my best to get this updated, however, just wanted to warn it might be a bit late. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! I'll see you next chapter (:


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to work on other fics that are long past due for when I said I would update, but, it's been a long and rough week and I've been feeling angsty so I turned to this one. I really enjoyed this chapter and I hope you all will enjoy reading it.

** _“Before creation there must be destruction. If my soul stands in the way, then I’ll toss it aside”_ **

* * *

**Levi POV: **

He could hear the distant sound of thunder rolling through the hills and smell the sharp scent of water and soil that indicated the oncoming storm as he opened the window in his bedroom and gazed out towards the woods and distant mountains. It was easy, in quiet moments such as this, to understand why Eren had chosen to seclude himself out here. One could almost forget the chaos that surrounded them, the taste of tragedy on the tip of their tongue, the feeling of bitter loss and loneliness that threatened to consume the last traces of goodness left in the world. 

Levi leaned against the windowsill as his eyes scanned the horizon, watching as dark clouds covered up the stars and cast a shadow over the world underneath. Storms reminded him of Eren, for some reason. Perhaps it was because of their ability to both create life and destroy it in the time it took for one to blink. Or, perhaps, it was because they were simultaneously beautiful and terrifying. 

The vibration of his phone brought him out of his thoughts, and he slid it out of his pocket, retrieving the device and sighing as he saw the name that popped up on the screen. Sometimes he wished that he could rest, it was a simple request and yet an impossible one. As long as he had a mission to complete, there was no way that he could ever quit. It was in his blood to never stop, to keep fighting no matter the personal costs. 

“Hange, what is it? You’re not supposed to call me when Eren is home.”

_ “Levi. Is there something you haven’t been telling us?” _ They asked, a slight hint of worry lacing their voice.

Levi’s grip on the windowsill tightened to the point where the wood underneath threatened to break. He hadn’t told them about the night of Eren’s nightmare. It was crucial information and, yet, something had held him back. 

“Why would I keep anything from you, Hange?” His voice had dipped to a menacing tone, the monster hidden deep within him struggling to claw its way up to the surface. 

“_Oh, don’t get that tone of voice with me grumpy pants. It’s just...odd. He knew, Levi. He knew about every single camera. There were 132 of them. It would be impossible for a normal human being to have detected all of them and, not only that, he somehow managed to deactivate them all at the same time. He...he also spoke to me.”_

Levi blinked, his grip on the windowsill relaxing before he turned his body around to rest up against it instead. The wind caressed his hair gently, brushing a few of the strands against his face as he closed his eyes and tilted his head back. It seemed Eren was going to give himself away without Levi having to do much. 

“What do you mean he talked to you, Hange?”

_ “He knew I was there, Levi! He looked directly at me and he said...well...that doesn’t matter. What matters is he has revealed to us there is more than just a scarred young man hiding away. I... I don’t think he is mentally stable. We should get you out of there and think of a new stra-” _

_ “ _No-” Levi cut them off, opening his eyes and staring at his bedroom door- “I am already here. I will not leave until my mission is complete. I need some time, Hange. That’s all I am asking for. You need to stop worrying. I can take care of myself.” 

_ “But Levi,” _Hange began to protest, their voice babbling excitedly over the speaker as they began to list excuses for Levi to leave and other strategies they had come up with. However, Levi wasn’t paying the least bit of attention. Instead, he was focused on the shadows that danced underneath the light of the hallway, eerily moving closer and closer to his door until they stopped right in front of it. 

He hung up the phone without saying a word to Hange and slid it back inside his pocket, holding his breath as the door creaked open to reveal Eren’s tall figure standing menacingly outside. His brows were drawn together, long chestnut hair let down from its bun and cascading over his shoulders, and his lips were set in a thin line. As usual, despite the heat, he wore a long sleeve shirt and Levi couldn’t help but think there must be a reason behind it. Was he covering his scars? 

“You were on the phone with the person who put the cameras inside my home.” 

It wasn’t a question. 

“Yes.” 

“There are a lot of things I can tolerate, Levi. However, the invasion of my privacy is not one of them. You’ve already come into my home and turned my calm life upside down, is that not enough for you?” 

Levi swallowed and looked away from Eren, suddenly finding the wooden floorboards to be of great interest. When Eren got this way, it made him feel guilty and if there was anything Levi hated, it was the feeling of guilt that rummaged its way into his heart and made a home there. He had a mission, he knew it was important, he could not stray from it. 

Eren’s footsteps tapped against the wood and something in the air seemed to grow heavy as he strode forward until he was nearly pressed up against the shorter man. There must have been only an inch of space between them and Levi could feel his heartbeat quicken at the sudden proximity. 

Eren placed both of his arms on either side of Levi and forced him back until he was partly hanging outside of the window. The wind had increased, sliding underneath his shirt and scratching at his pale skin. The thunder had become much louder and out of the corner of his eye, he could see the flash of lightning, the electricity in the air causing the hair on his arms to raise slightly. 

“It’s a long fall from up here-” Eren leaned down and whispered against the shell of Levi’s ear as one of his hands moved from the wall to Levi’s arm, gripping his bicep roughly-“do you think if I pushed you down that you would survive it? Mm... I’m sure you would. You would probably just break a leg. I could nurse you back to health, then. At least it would give you an excuse to be in my house.” 

“Eren,” Levi said, voice full of warning as his entire body tensed itself up in preparation for a fight. 

Eren used his other hand to grip Levi by the chin and tilt his head up roughly. Those eyes...those fucking eyes. The gold had returned with much more vibrancy than before and there was hardly any green left in the shining irises. 

“Not that I mind putting on a show, but this is much more pleasurable when it’s just you and me...don’t you agree?” 

Levi grit his teeth and slid one hand up Eren’s chest and to his throat, wrapping his fingers around the tan flesh and squeezing just slightly as an indication that he wasn’t afraid to hurt the younger man. 

The corner of Eren’s lip turned up into a sly smirk before he moved them to Levi’s jawline and spoke against the flesh in a rough tone.

“How did you know I like it rough? I think we’d be a match made in heaven in bed, wouldn’t you agree? I’d tear you apart piece by piece in a way that no one has ever been able to do before. But...you wouldn’t like that, would you? You don’t like to give up control.” 

“Eren!” 

Levi let go of his throat and gripped Eren’s wrist, tearing the hand away from his chin before ducking underneath his arm and forcing himself out of Eren’s grip on his bicep. It was tight enough that his flesh would most likely be bruised the next day, but he couldn’t even think about that right now. All he wanted was to increase the distance between him and Eren so, he used both hands to push against Eren’s chest, causing the younger man to stumble back a few steps before he backed away. His heart was pounding erratically, breath heavy, and silver irises were being swallowed by slightly dilated pupils. 

Eren chuckled and crossed his arms across his chest, tilting his head and looking over a Levi with a gleam in his eyes. 

“Are you to continue being this way?”

Levi clenched his fist at his side and his eyes turned to slits as he glared at Eren. He didn’t feel intimidated, he never had, he just felt off balance. His body had reacted in a way he hadn’t wanted it to when Eren had been close to him and it was messing with his head. He needed time to rest and think of a new way to go about this. 

“What exactly is it you’re implying, Eren?” 

“No one else. If anyone else tries to come inside my home, I will not be so nice next time. Do not test me, Levi.” 

And then Eren was turning on his heel and walking away, whistling a calm tune as though he hadn’t just threatened to kill Levi not once but twice. It was only once he was out of Levi’s view that he could hear loud splatters of water being thrown inside his room and covering the floor. He slowly walked over to the window and closed it, shutting out the noise outside and wishing he could do the same with his mind. 

_ What was he to do? _

** Eren POV: **

Had he taken things to far? That was the thought running around his mind as he lay in bed after a hot shower and a warm cup of tea to calm his nerves. He’d nearly lost it when he was in that room with Levi, the anger of being spied in the most private ways having clouded his judgment. He’d been getting used to Levi’s presence in his life and thought he had been beginning to understand the man, even if only a bit. Never had he believed Levi would be capable of such a thing...to put cameras even in his bathroom? What? Did they think watching him take a shit would somehow reveal his secrets?

It showed desperation. That’s what it meant. It seemed whoever was working behind the scenes was growing tired of Levi’s progress and thought this was the way to get the answers they sought much faster. Tch. As if he would allow something like this to happen. It was a mistake for anyone to underestimate him. Even without displaying his full power, it wouldn’t take much for Eren to take them down. 

But Levi...Levi was a complication. What had happened earlier was not supposed to. He was attracted to the raven, he’d known that from the moment he saw him, but it was deeper than that. There were days where he would gaze at Levi when the man wasn’t paying attention and he could see unfathomable pain lingering in silver depths. And then, there were the moments where he could feel that Levi was holding back...such as in the bedroom just an hour earlier. 

Levi wasn’t like anyone he had ever met and the connection Eren felt between them was what made him dangerous. Eren could say that he liked Levi, he barely knew him, but he wanted to like him and know him and that...that was bad. 

Eren dug the palms of his hands into his eyes and pressed his head against his pillow as he sighed loudly. Perhaps he had been going about this the wrong way all this time. Maybe, just maybe, he could get Levi to like him. In his experience, when one began to care for another person it made it hard to betray them. It didn’t need to be love, even friendship could work in his favor. If he could get Levi to trust him then surely the man would finally leave him be in peace. 

He smiled softly as Fritz came up and lay on his chest, curling into a small ball and purring loudly. Why hadn’t he thought of this plan before tonight? Perhaps it was because their earlier interaction ultimately disclosed that Levi was partial to him, even if only a bit. The man could have been much rougher with him and he had held himself back when his entire purpose should have been to rile Eren up enough to make him lose control. However, Eren had noticed the way Levi had become unsettled...especially when Eren had pressed his lips against the older man’s skin. 

Was it monstrous to trick someone into liking you, possibly even loving you, and using that to your advantage? If so, Eren supposed he would have to be the monster he was made into once more. Just once more. 

ϾϾϾ

The next morning Eren made sure to wake up earlier than Levi. He could tell by the sound of the man’s breathing from inside of his room that he was in a deep sleep and would stay that way for at least another hour. Levi never slept for long, much like Eren, and it left the brunet often wondering if he too was plagued by nightmares. 

Would they be about all the people that Levi had killed over the years? Their corpses coming to haunt him in his dreams and filling him with the unimaginable pain of sorrow? Or, perhaps, Levi didn’t feel guilty about any of the people he had murdered with the excuse of justice on his tongue. Maybe it was the ghosts of those he loved, those whose deaths he had inadvertently caused, crying and begging him for answers as to why he failed them. 

Whatever the case may be, Eren didn’t have much time to roam his home freely without Levi being awake. This meant, for him to surprise the other man, he had to act fast. Getting showered and dressed in record time, Eren bounded down the steps as silent as a whisper and fed Fritz before starting to cook his mom’s famous pancake recipe. 

It would be the very first time Eren had cooked breakfast for them both since Levi’s intrusion in his home. He had been stubborn this entire time, refusing to offer any ounce of kindness towards his unwanted house guest, and that had been a mistake on his part. Sure, he’d made dinner once before, but it hadn’t been anything special. Eren understood now why Levi had been cooking and cleaning for him this entire time, he was using the same tactic that Eren had now adopted. 

_ Stupid fucking idiot. Armin is right about you being dense sometimes. _

He whistled a soft melody; one his mom had often sung when putting him to bed and felt his heart grow warm as the smell of fluffy buttery goodness filled the air. It had been a while since he had made these, the recipe long ago memorized, as thoughts of his mother often filled him with a pang of intense sadness. She was everything beautiful in the world and he wondered if she would be disappointed in what had become of him. 

Best not to think about it now, especially with the sound of Levi’s footsteps padding against the stairs. Each sound that Levi made; whether it was breathing, walking, swallowing, or talking, had been impressed upon his memory after just one week in the man’s presence. He doubted it would be possible for him to be in a crowd of even a thousand people and not be able to single Levi out.   
  


A fucking problem was what it was. 

A problem he would, and could, handle. 

“Ah, you’re awake,” Eren called out without turning around, flipping a pancake and creating the perfect circle with it. 

“I am and you are...cooking us breakfast?” 

There was a clear tone of confusion in Levi’s voice, most likely due to their quarrel last night. When Eren became annoyed with the older man he often sought refuge by either going to his room or leaving the house, he’d never tried to reconcile. 

“Yes well-” Eren hesitated, putting his last pancake onto the plate before reaching up to brush his fingers over his nape- “you cook for me all the time, I figured it’s only fair that I return the favor.” 

The creak of the chair, Levi was sitting down, and then underneath that sound was his heartbeat. It had picked up its pace slightly which caused Eren to bite back a knowing smile. 

“You’ve never bothered with cooking breakfast before this though...why now?” 

“Come on, Levi. Don’t be such a sourpuss. You’ve made it abundantly clear you won’t be leaving anytime soon so I might as well cook occasionally. It’s rather domestic, isn’t it? I haven’t cooked a good breakfast in so long I forgot how enjoyable it can be.” 

Levi scoffed behind him, most likely at the domestic comment, but made no other objections as Eren brought over the plate of pancakes as well as butter, jam, and maple syrup. Eren sat across from him and couldn’t help but let out a bark of a laugh as the raven eyed the pancakes skeptically. 

“I promise they are not poisoned. I can think of much better ways to get you out of my life than that. Look.” 

He spread butter on the warm tan surface before pouring an obnoxious amount of syrup on top, what could he say? He had a sweet tooth. And then he took a huge bite and nearly moaned at the intensity of flavors that burst on to his taste buds. Even after all these years, nothing lived up to his mother’s recipe. 

Eren watched intensely as Levi put the smallest amount of butter and an even smaller amount of syrup on one of his pancakes before cutting off a piece and putting it in his mouth. He was delighted when he saw the way the older man’s eyes lit up and the smallest curl up his lips. 

“Ah, good. If you would have said they were disgusting I may have had to kill you. This is my mom’s recipe, after all. Nothing can ever beat it.” 

Levi looked at him from across the table, one eyebrow raised in question, before speaking softly. 

“Your mother?” 

Eren blinked and looked down at his pancakes, shoving a few more pieces in his mouth and chewing enthusiastically. 

“Why are you so surprised that I mentioned my mother? We all come out of a woman in some way, it’s impossible not to have one. Now, hurry up and eat before it gets cold. It won’t taste as good that way.” 

Levi didn’t ask any more questions about Eren’s mother after that, instead, they played their usual game of asking about mundane things while at the table. It always consisted of seemingly irrelevant topics such as favorite color, favorite food, or favorite movie. However, it was a way to get familiar with one another without the need for a closeness that both men were secretly afraid of. 

“So, Levi. I’ve been thinking. I would like to have a fighting match with you. All in good sport, of course!” 

Levi’s silverware clacked against his plate, dropped in mild shock before he rested his chin on his hands and gazed at Eren thoughtfully. 

“You want to fight with me? Wasn’t last night enough for you?” 

Eren rolled his eyes and cupped his chin in his hand as he returned Levi’s look with a wide smile to match the mischief in his eyes. 

“That hardly counts! Both of us were holding back and I was angry. This time, it will be for fun. Nothing serious! Come on, I know you’ve been dying to see what I’m capable of and I’ve been feeling the same when it comes to you. No one has ever been able to beat me in hand to hand combat before.” 

“Hm, no one has ever beat me in hand to hand combat before either.” 

Eren stood up and gathered all the dishes to clean, bouncing on his heels excitedly while at the sink. 

“Then, it sounds like it would be a perfect match to me.” 

Levi didn’t reply right away and Eren didn’t turn around to look when he heard the man stand and begin to move around. He bit his lip in anticipation, once again hearing the distinct sound of Levi’s pulse quickening. 

“I’ll go get changed.” 

Eren’s grin expanded so wide that it hurt a bit and he had to hide his face in the crook of his shoulder so that Levi wouldn’t be able to see. He knew this was a terrible idea, and he knew Levi felt the same, so why were they doing this? 

The answer was simple. 

Eren placed the sponge on the sink and dried his hands, power thrumming through his veins as he listened to Levi changing in the room above. 

_ Let’s see if you can keep yourself restrained this time around, Levi _. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support on this one so far. I know it still isn't long yet, however, I'm feeling really good about it and I'm excited to continue building up the plot and relationships. 
> 
> I should hopefully be back on a normal update schedule here soon. Thanks for reading!
> 
> <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two hot men rolling around in the dirt together...what could go wrong?

** _“In the desert I saw a creature, naked, bestial,_ **

** _Who, squatting upon the ground,_ **

** _Held his heart in his hands and ate of it._ **

** _I said, “Is it good, friend?”_ **

** _“It is bitter—bitter,” he answered;_ **

** _“But I like it because it is bitter,_ **

** _And because it is my heart.”_ **

** _Stephen Crane-In the Desert_ **

* * *

**Eren POV:**

Eren supposed he needed to go and get changed into more comfortable clothes as well, considering his tight jeans wouldn’t allow for the movement that he would be needing once he began to spar with Levi. His ears twitched, catching the sound of Levi cursing under his breath as he changed in the room above. With a smirk, Eren finished cleaning up their breakfast and made his way upstairs. 

He switched out of his clothes in favor of a tight black long sleeve Under Armour shirt and a pair of black Under Armour sweatpants. He was glad that the warmth of summer was waning into the chilliness of Autumn as it would mean Levi wouldn’t question why Eren continuously wore long sleeves. He’d never had to worry about it before having someone living in his house with him but now...he couldn’t chance Levi seeing the tell-tale signs of the serum that ran through his veins. 

He knew, of course, that Levi already had his suspicions. It was his eyes. Mikasa and Armin had told him when he had been rescued that they changed color whenever he let the beast take over a little. He’d tried to use contacts, but they ended up burning his eyes whenever the shift happened. Still, it wasn’t enough for Levi to deem that the experiments had been successful. Eyes shifting colors could at least be somewhat explained but veins turning gold was not something you could lie your way out of.

“Oh yeah, my veins. About that. It’s uh, a magic trick I learned back in grade school. Pretty nifty, right?” 

Haha. Yeah. No way he could be able to get away with that one. Therefore, long sleeves it was.

Once Eren threw on a pair of old sneakers he deemed himself ready and opened his door, grinning like an idiot when he caught sight of Levi leaving his room from across the hall. The shorter man was dressed in a skintight white short sleeve t-shirt that did a fabulous job of showing off every dip and curve of the muscle that resided underneath the thin material. And on his legs, _holy shit_. The man was wearing _the_ infamous pair of grey sweatpants. You know. The ones that all men wore not knowing how mad it drove those thirsty for dick around them. 

Or maybe they did know. 

Oh yeah, from the smirk that crossed Levi’s face when he caught Eren ogling...the bastard knew what he was doing when he chose that outfit. 

Well, just because he looked like a full course meal didn’t mean that Eren was going to go easy on him. He had to show the older man that he wasn’t to be fucked with. Maybe, hopefully, piss him off enough to the point where he would finally break and leave his house. This had gone on for far too long already, nearly two months, and Eren didn’t know how much longer he could hold out.

Not only was it becoming much more difficult to control the monster inside of himself when he was around Levi, but it was also becoming increasingly harder to ignore the attraction he felt towards his unwanted guest. He was loath to admit it, however, there had been multiple nights where Eren awoke in a cold sweat with a hard-on from a dream he’d been having with a certain someone doing naughty things to him in it. 

So, yeah. It was about time to get rid of Levi for good. The man was far more trouble than he was worth. If Eren wanted to deal with ridiculously attractive men that he had no business liking he could take himself to the nearby gay bar with a slew of famous strippers who got their celebrity status for a reason. 

The real problem, though, wasn’t that he was just physically attracted to Levi. No. It was the fact that Eren could see himself falling for the man if given enough time. Eren had slept around with his fair share of ridiculously sexy men, however, he’d never felt anything more for them than lust. Someone like him couldn’t fall in love, not with the burden that he carried. It would only result in the other person eventually becoming hurt therefore he needed to always keep himself at a distance from those around him. Mikasa and Armin being the only exceptions. 

“Are you just going to stand there and stare at me or are we going to do this?”

Levi’s deep voice broke him out of his thoughts and Eren huffed before bounding down the steps like an excited puppy. He turned his head up to look at Levi who was standing at the top of the steps and let out a bark of laughter. 

“Are you that eager to get your ass kicked, midget?” 

Levi’s eyes narrowed as he sauntered down the steps and followed Eren outside. The chilly air nipped at Eren’s exposed skin causing his cheeks to flush red. The air still held the scent of soil and water from last night’s rainstorm and Eren suddenly realized that maybe sparring in the muddy grass wasn’t the best idea. 

“Don’t tell me you’re planning on taking me out into that muddy bullshit. We shouldn’t even be outside, Eren. The FBI is still on the lookout for me.”

_I take that back; muddy sparring is the best idea I’ve ever had. _

Eren laughed cheekily and cocked his head to eye Levi with an evil glint in his eyes.

“Where else would we spar? If we stay inside, we run the risk of ruining something in my house. The front and back porch is not only too hard, but the space too restricting. The back yard offers the most space for us. Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a little dirt?” 

He watched as Levi’s jaw clenched, the man choosing not to respond to Eren as he followed him behind the house. Eren owned a lot of land, sadly a product of the money he had inherited from his father. Not that he was going to complain, though. Money was money. An expanse of green opened, a forest of pine trees dotting the land in the distance. His sneakers made a soft squelching sound as he walked a few feet into the yard until finding a spot that he judged as good enough for their fight. 

“Okay, this is a good enough spot. And don’t worry about the FBI, I’ll know if they show up. You’re not the only one with technologically savvy friends.” 

Eren began to stretch as he spoke, pulling his arms behind his back and letting out a soft groan at how good the movement felt. It’d been a while since he’d done hand to hand combat, not having had any reason to. For the first few years, after he had been rescued, he’d often spar with Mikasa to release pent up anger and stress. It had also served as a tool for him to regain control of himself having only ever seriously injured Mikasa on one occasion. The woman was tough, but even she didn’t have the skills to subdue Eren in his Titan induced state. 

Levi copied Eren’s movements, stretching out his arms and upper body before moving lower. Considering that Levi was in some sort of secret agency, Eren knew he’d make a tough opponent. The older man most likely had to participate in hand to hand combat far more often than Eren which would mean he would have techniques up his sleeve that Eren wasn’t familiar with. Although they weren’t doing this to hurt one another, he did not doubt that there was a possibility of them taking this too far. 

“Do we have any rules?” Levi asked as he pulled his leg up to stretch out his quad muscle. 

“Let’s at least try not to draw any blood. We aren’t here to beat the shit out of one another, just to release some pent-up frustration.”

“And who says I’m frustrated?” 

Eren had been bent over with his fingertips touching the dewy grass, but at Levi’s words, he looked up and gave the darker haired man an exasperated look. 

“Levi, you’ve been here for nearly two months and I haven’t told you jack shit. I know you’re frustrated with me, stop trying to act like the nice guy here.” 

Eren was, to be honest, quite tired of Levi’s “nice guy” act that he had been pulling. Where was the man that shoved him up against the wall upon first meeting? Where was the man with a foul mouth and a scowl constantly adorning his face? He knew Levi was trying to win him over, get on his good side so he’d spill his guts, but Eren had never been one to fall for the good guys to begin with. And, more than anything else, he despised fake people. 

“Are you sure that’s what you want, Eren?” 

“Shut up and fight me.” 

And, for fuck's sake, Eren should have never suggested this. He should have known, deep down inside, that out of every idea he’d ever had this would be the worst one. Oh yes, let’s get physical with a man who you were not just physically attracted to but emotionally attracted to as well. A fantastic method of distancing yourself, Eren Yeager. 

The way that Levi moved was gorgeous, having command over his body in ways that very few people were capable of. Each movement was deliberate and precise, from the way his leg swung towards Eren’s ribs with perfectly controlled power to the way he ducked and pivoted out of the way of one of Eren’s fists. 

He’d said they weren’t here to beat the shit out of one another, but that’s certainly what both were trying to do. After a few failed attempts at landing a hit, Eren backed away as the two began to circle one another. Despite the cool Autumn air, Eren could feel sweat dripping down his forehead and the back of his neck. He’d initially pulled his hair up to keep it from being a tool Levi could use against him, but with the heat his body was currently undergoing he was glad he’d chosen to pull it up and out of his face. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been this out of breath. 

Couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so..._alive_.

He could feel his veins thrumming underneath his shirt, the tell-tale sign that the beast inside perceived a threat and was acting accordingly. He wasn’t scared, however. No. He was _exhilarated, _and he wanted only one thing. To win. 

Quick as lighting, he surged forward and swung his fist, the flesh connecting with Levi’s left ribcage. Levi grunted loudly at the impact and then Eren surprisingly found himself being grabbed around the waist before he could pivot away. He knew what the shorter man was attempting and tried with all his might to fight his way out of his grasp, Eren had never been the most skilled when it came down to fighting off his feet. 

However, Levi wasn’t having any of it. The older man tightened his grip and then hooked one of his legs around Eren’s, using it to force the brunet to lose his balance. As soon as he stumbled it was all over and he found himself looking at the sky as he flew through the air and landed with a loud huff onto his back. 

Eren grimaced slightly as he felt the mud soaking his t-shirt and the back of his neck, the sensation incredibly uncomfortable. He didn’t have much time to be annoyed with his current predicament, though, because Levi was surging towards him as he attempted to pin the younger man to the ground and claim victory. 

Eren swiftly rolled to the side and out of the way of the older man, heart beating rapidly and veins burning as the Titan fought to crawl out. He needed to end this before he lost control. With a display of strength and speed that he had not yet shown, Eren maneuvered his body so that he was now straddling a shocked Levi and pinning him to the wet ground underneath them. 

Eren’s chest was heaving as he breathed heavily, a few strands of hair falling out of his messy bun and hanging in front of his face as he gazed down at the man underneath him. His body was shaking with adrenaline and, from the way Levi was looking at him, he did not doubt that his eyes had nearly fully shifted from green to gold. This had been a bad idea, not only was he way too close to Levi, Eren was nearly about to lose control of himself. 

He normally didn’t get like this unless he felt threated and considering he was the one currently in control, he couldn’t tell what was making his body react this way. Eren needed to declare victory and distance himself but for some reason, he found himself unable to move, pinned down by silver irises that seemed to be looking straight into his bared soul. 

And then, a sudden realization struck him. 

He ached to kiss Levi. 

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _

He licked his lips as his eyes shifted from Levi’s down to the man’s thin lips, heart beating in his chest irregularly as the desire to be close to the man began to consume him. 

Was he going to do this? 

**Levi POV: **

He had no idea how this had happened. One minute, he had been the one about to pin Eren to the ground and claim victory and the next had his back pressing against the mud as the brunet straddled him from above. The wind had been knocked out of him and stars had danced behind his eyes from the sheer amount of force the younger man had needed to use to subdue him so, it had taken a few minutes to process the predicament that he was in. 

He’d never been in a position like this before. Not once, in his entire life, had anyone managed to pin Levi Ackerman down. He didn’t know what to do but what he did know was that the way Eren was looking at him currently, as though he wanted to devour him whole, was dangerous. His heart thrummed wildly inside his chest and heat coiled in his gut when he watched, wide-eyed, as Eren’s tongue darted over plump pink lips. His golden glowing eyes were hooded, and it was when the younger man began to move his head towards his that Levi knew he was truly and utterly fucked. A strange emotion stirred inside of him, one that he didn’t like at all, and before he could even think about what he was doing his fist was flying until it connected with a sharp cheekbone.

The sound of flesh colliding with flesh filled the air as the weight that had been pinning him down was lifted, Eren being flung off him and groaning while cupping his face with his hands. Shit, he’d unintentionally used all his strength in that hit, his body had gone into full panic mode. 

Scrambling, Levi got up off the ground and moved to squat in front of Eren who was still covering his face and obscuring it from view. He hadn’t meant to hurt the other man, his intention from the get-go had been simply to play around with Eren and let him know he wasn’t to be messed with, but now he had a feeling he’d gone too far. All the progress he’d made over the past two months of getting Eren to be comfortable around him thrown down the drain. 

“Shit, kid. Are you okay? I didn’t mean to hit you that hard I just...I’ve never been in that situation before and my body just sort of panicked.” 

Levi watched intently as Eren lowered his hands from his face, green eyes that were now fully gold glaring back at him. The left side of his cheek was a dark red and would, without a doubt, be sporting a rather nasty bruise in a few hours. Luckily, Levi had managed to miss his lip which filled him with relief. That’s all he would need, to have drawn blood. At least with something like this, there may be room for recovery. 

“I did say the only rule was to not draw any blood but, fuck, Levi. You could have easily gotten me off you by rolling me over, punching me in the ribs, or pushing me on the chest. My face is one of my best assets, did you have to fuck it up?” 

Levi clicked his tongue in annoyance and grasped Eren by the chin, tilting his head this way and that to inspect the wound. 

“It’s hardly noticeable. At most, you’ll be sporting a bruise for a few days. Will make you look tough, isn’t that supposed to be attractive or some shit? You’ll be fine.” 

Eren grasped Levi’s wrist tightly and yanked it away from his face before letting go and standing up, brushing his hands against his ass as he attempted to remove the dirt from the material. 

“Yeah, you tell that to my sister when I go to visit tomorrow and she sees my face like this. She’ll want to come straight over here to kick your ass and part of me wants to let her do just that.” 

Levi followed Eren’s movements, eyeing the younger man warily as he trailed after him to go back inside the house. What he needed right now was a nice hot shower and a change of clothes, he felt disgusting. His white shirt was ruined, completely covered in mud and grass stains and his pants weren’t fairing much better. 

“I’m going to go get a shower and change out of these clothes, as good as mud baths are supposed to be for your skin, I feel fucking disgusting,” Eren said as he walked up the stairs. 

Levi grunted in agreement, happy that the house was big enough to warrant two bathrooms equipped with showers. He didn’t think he could wait any longer to get out of these sopping wet clothes. It was when he was at the top of the steps and ready to turn towards his room that Eren turned to regard him once more. 

Levi hadn’t expected to ever see a look like that on Eren’s face, he couldn’t quite place what it was, but he could detect the fainted bit of curiosity shining in once more green irises. The younger man parted his lips as if he were about to say something, but quickly pursed them and shook his head before turning away. 

Hm... that was strange. 

It was only later when Levi was in the shower, hot water running over his cool body and removing all the dirt and grime, that a realization struck him. Earlier, while they were laying together in the dirt, Eren had been about to kiss him. 

Finally, after two months of attempting to get the younger man to crack, he’d had him in the palm of his hands. 

And Levi had decked him straight in the face. 

“Shit,” Levi groaned as the water slapped him in the face, “I fucked up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I apologize for the long wait on this. Thank you for being so patient with me and for giving me a chance and reading something that's only a WIP. As a fellow reader, I know how daunting it can be to start a fic that's not finished thinking that there may come a time when it is abandoned. However, I can promise you that no matter how long it takes I will not leave any work unfinished. I should be back on a regular update schedule here soon. <3


	8. Chapter 8

** _“There is a loneliness in this world so great  
that you can see it in the slow movement of  
the hands of a clock.”_ **

** _-Charles Bukowski_ **

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** **

**Levi POV:**

Something shifted between them after that day. It wasn’t anything that anyone else aside from Levi would notice, a subtle change in the simplest of things. Whether it be the fact that Eren started walking around the house shirtless, a knowing smirk on his lips when he felt Levi’s heated gaze on his back, or his sudden desire to brew the older man tea every night. Bringing it to him as he sat on the living room couch, phone in hand, browsing the internet for any source of entertainment. 

It had been nearly three months since he’d been locked in this house with Eren, only occasionally venturing outdoors for a quick workout or stroll through the woods when the younger man wasn’t around. Levi would be lying if he said he wasn’t going a bit insane, finding himself wishing for even Hange’s presence after all this time. 

Sure, Eren stuck around more often now and provided Levi with _plenty_ of company, but that itself was a problem. If interest had a scent, the air would be ripe with it. He should be happy that his plan was going accordingly, it was clear that Eren had wanted to kiss him that day, and if his behavior since then was anything to go by, he still wanted to. 

Levi wanted to kiss Eren too, found himself desiring the younger man in a way that he hadn’t desired anyone in quite a long time. It wouldn’t be an issue if they were to fall in bed together, to have nights full of fun and pleasure, if not for the fact that Levi had a feeling it wouldn’t be that simple. 

They were too similar; he’d realized all too late into this. Levi should have listened and let either Hange or Erwin take over, hell, maybe even Farlan would have been a better choice. Eren was...Eren was unlike anyone he’d ever met before. He was so full of silent desperation, eyes shining with a melancholy that was hard to place. It was as though he was searching for that one person who would understand him above all else, who would tell him that sure life was full of evil but that didn’t mean it wasn’t beautiful. That didn’t mean it wasn’t worth fighting for. 

And the more they spent time together, the more Levi got to know the younger man, the more he noticed the way those eyes looked at him. It was a gradual change, different from the shift that the almost kiss had brought on. That difference was one of a sexual nature, fueled by a craving to touch and be touched in turn. 

This was full of hunger for something _more_. The tantalizing sensation that could only be satiated by falling together as one, by whispering words that had been trapped deep within your heart for years, by finding peace with knowing you weren’t the only one in the world who felt as though it were against you. Who felt as though, no matter what you did, you would never truly be free. 

And then, you found that freedom in someone else. Because, for the first time in your life, someone saw past the mask that you had put on. They saw who you were, and not only were they able to rip the mask off and look into your soul, they were willing and able to accept it. Not simply because they understood you, but because your souls were the same. 

Levi didn’t want to admit that he liked Eren, didn’t even want to admit that over time they had shifted from kind of enemies to maybe friends. He looked down, eyeing the younger man who was currently curled up next to him on the couch, head lying on his lap and fast asleep. Okay...so that _maybe_ was a fat fucking lie. Eren for sure saw him as a friend, solidified after their sparring match together. He had a sneaking suspicion that the brunet _liked _that Levi had socked him in the face rather than kiss him back. As though it had proven some point and changed the way that Eren thought about Levi. 

There was a fear crawling up his spine and making its way into his heart that the reason Eren was different around him now was that, on that day where they were tumbling in the grass with the wind blowing through their hair and the sun on their backs, he had seen through Levi’s mask. When those green eyes bore down on his, rather than seeing a fierce less man who had been trained since he was a child to kill, Eren had uncovered the fear that had made its home inside his soul long ago. 

A fear of raw human connection. Of losing yourself in someone and falling so hard that there wasn’t any possible way you’d ever recover. The fear that, despite telling himself otherwise, had caused Levi to lash out and protect himself. He hadn’t been prepared for Eren Yeager, but then again...

Levi released Eren’s hair from its bun, watching as brunet strands cascaded over defined cheekbones and broad shoulders, before billowing his fingers in the soft strands. Was it possible to prepare yourself for a person like this? 

Eren was a force of nature, all-consuming, powerful enough to destroy worlds. He held a fire inside him, one that even without the power of the Titan serum would surely bring people to their knees...would bring_ Levi_ to his knees. 

He sighed, removing his fingers from Eren’s hair and tilting his head back to rest against the couch as he closed his eyes. The fact that the younger man trusted him enough to fall asleep on him spoke volumes. He wanted to think that he had him in the palm of his hand, that at any minute Eren would spill his guts to him, finally releasing them both from the prison of this house. Levi had a feeling, however, that it was Eren who was on the winning side here. That he knew Levi was beginning to feel for him in a way that could only be described as acute tenderness. 

Levi ran his hands over his face and grunted, he was letting his mind take him places it didn’t need to be. With a gentleness that he rarely possessed, the older man scooted himself out from underneath Eren so that he could get up, groaning softly as he was finally able to stretch his legs. He’d been sitting in that position for nearly an hour, far too long, and it felt liberating not only to freely move but to put distance between him and Eren. 

The corner of Levi’s lip curled up slightly as he gazed down at Eren’s sleeping figure, thinking of how soft he was becoming in his old age. He’d been doing this for a long time, had started earlier than was probably appropriate, and never had someone thrown him so off-kilter. But, in the end, he still had a job to do. No matter his personal feelings there lived on inside of him a need to finish what he’d started, and he wasn’t ready to let go, not yet. 

Levi found himself suddenly struck by the need for air, stumbling slightly when he turned as Fritz curled himself around his leg, leaning down to scoop the bundle of fur up into his arms before walking out to the back porch. He closed his eyes, blocking out all of the sounds in his head and choosing to concentrate on the soft purrs caused by his fingers stroking Fritz’s chin and birds chirping in the distance. 

He often found himself wishing he could enjoy this world that Eren had immersed himself in properly, spending most of his nights gazing out his bedroom window at the surrounding forest and far away mountains. In all his years spent in the Survey Corps, Levi had never taken a proper break. Had immersed himself in his work, hardly allowing for social life to keep from becoming too close to those around him. 

It hadn’t worked. He cared more for his fellow members than he ever voiced, choosing instead to show it through his actions. He’d made himself known amongst the Corps for being an ornery hard to approach individual with an obsession for cleanliness. However, those closest to him knew that deep down he had a soft heart that he kept hidden from the world, too afraid of letting himself feel. 

He needed to hurry up and get Eren to confess, to convince the younger man to come back with him to the Survey Corps so he could finally put some much-needed distance between them. It was hard to believe a man six years his junior was able to crawl under his skin this much, able to throw him off in such a way that he almost wished to have been able to meet Eren under different circumstances. 

A shuffling behind him brought Levi out of his thoughts and he turned, feeling a gentle tug at his heart as he took in the sight of Eren stumbling towards him, long-sleeve green t-shirt slightly lifted exposing a toned caramel stomach, hair in disarray from being slept on, and eyes clouded with tiredness. 

“Mm how long was I out for?” he asked, voice thick and gruff with sleep, causing that all too familiar heat to pool within Levi’s stomach. 

Levi cleared his throat and turned to look back out towards the mountain peaks, letting Fritz down as soon as the cat began to stir from hearing the voice of his owner. 

“About two hours. You needed it. I could hear you in your room last night, it didn’t sound like you got much sleep.” 

He could hear a chuckle escape Eren’s throat as Fritz bounded over to him with quiet mewl, along with soft words of affection. Levi would have to remember to ask Erwin how he felt about cats, knowing that Eren would never agree to go anywhere without his companion. 

“The nightmares get worse during the winter months, due to a lack of sunlight, I suppose,” Eren answered back as he positioned himself on the porch next to Levi, leaning his back against it so he was facing away from the forest and able to look at the older man instead. 

Levi lifted a brow, a bit surprised that Eren was divulging such information. He hummed in response, eyes flickering from Eren’s exhausted face back to the sky, watching as the sun rose from behind the mountains and bathed the world in orange hues. 

“You get them too, don’t you?” 

Levi grit his teeth, hands tightening on the rails in front of him, cursing whatever higher power was out there for throwing Eren into his path. This was exactly the type of conversation he didn’t want to have, but one that he knew was necessary to further gain the younger man’s trust. 

“I do.” 

And, to his surprise, Eren left it at that. As though the simple clarification that he wasn’t alone in his nightly terrors, of past horrors that kept him awake hours in the night, was enough for him. They shared a quiet companionship for a while, neither choosing to speak as they basked in the quietness that the morning brought, listened as the world around them slowly awoke. 

“Do you want to go on a hike today?” Eren asked suddenly, green eyes flicking to look up at Levi, a small curve of his lips causing him to look nothing short of mischievous. 

“I’m not supposed to leave your house, I could get caught, which wouldn’t bode well for either of us.” 

Eren scooted closer to Levi, surprising the older man by maneuvering himself until he was in between the older man and the railing he had been previously leaning against, bodies so close that he could feel Eren’s breath tickling his forehead. 

“I can sense it Levi, that feeling of being trapped. That longing for the Earth beneath your feet, the wind caressing your face and hair, the mountains whispering your name and calling you to them.” 

Eren’s eyes were hooded, his voice thick as he spoke to Levi, hand lifted to brush black strands away from the older man’s forehead. He watched as Eren took in his face, noting the darkness underneath silver eyes that had become a permanent fixture long ago. 

“It will be good for both of us to get some fresh air, to stretch our legs for a bit. I have a beanie that you can borrow, and if you put on civilian clothing, you’re a far cry from how you looked when we first met. Plus, I’ll know long before anyone gets near us that they’re out there. Trust me.” 

_ Trust me. _

A seemingly simple but impossible request. Levi hardly trusted anyone, it took years for him to build up that sort of relationship, even amongst his comrades. He would indulge in Eren’s fantasy, however, especially if it meant finally getting away from this stifling cabin. Away from a space that didn’t allow for much distance between him and the younger man. At least, out there, he would have an unknown world to distract him. 

“Fine-” Levi relented, sighing as he backed away from Eren, only now realizing how hard his heart was beating- “I’ll humor you, just this once.” 

And then, Eren did something that almost caused the older man’s heart to stop. For the first time since they had met, the younger man allowed Levi to see his true smile. His lips stretched wide, revealing a set of straight white teeth, and his eyes crinkled at the sides causing little lines to appear at the edges, the green irises shining with so much happiness that he felt a sudden surge of protectiveness grow inside him. A need to keep that smile on the younger man’s face forever, eliminating anyone who would get in the way of that. 

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist, come on!” 

_ Fuck, if there is a God out there, I could use your help right about now. _

•••

Levi didn’t admit it out loud, but Eren had been right. The moment he had stepped into the beaten path in the woods, smelled nothing but the Earth ripe with the wetness of the recent rainstorm, felt the cool wind on his bare face and hands, and breathed in a freshness that only thousands of trees could bring, he’d felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. There was something about being out in the wilderness, surrounded by a rare kind of quietness, one that blocked out the world and brought nothing but calmness and clarity. 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Eren mused out loud, smiling softly at Levi as he passed by him and looked around. He had left his hair down, a rare occurrence for him, and Levi found himself appreciating it. Noting how much Eren looked at home out here, how his shoulders were looser, body moving languidly, an uncharacteristic softness on his face. 

“Come on, I want to take you somewhere.” 

Levi nodded, following behind Eren as he led him off the path, trusting that the younger man would know exactly where to go. This was his home, these were lands that he had wondered countless times, days wrought with a need to run away from the past and into a future that hopefully held more kindness. 

They didn’t speak much as they trekked through the woods, the cold ground crunching beneath their feet, leaves on the bushes slowly wilting as winter claimed their lives. Occasionally they would pass around words of appreciation when they saw a particularly beautiful scene or when an animal scurried past them, not used to being disturbed by the presence of humans. 

It was gorgeous out here, the land left untouched by the filth of humans, thriving and full of life despite winter’s grip upon it. Levi found himself understanding Eren more and more as they moved, listening while the younger man recounted past tales of his adventured in the woods. 

“Maybe someday you’ll have a chance to hike the mountains. I did that last summer and it was the most rewarding experience of my life. Standing on top of a mountain peak and gazing at the world beneath you, realizing just how small you truly are. It’s nothing short of magnificent, I think you would enjoy it.” 

Levi blinked. Eren seemed so..._normal_ at this moment. Nothing short of your average mid-twenty-year-old who enjoyed hiking during the summer months when he wasn’t bogged down with work. Except, Eren was everything but average. Levi would do well to remember that. 

“Hm, I suppose I might need to find some time and try it out. I’ve never hiked a mountain before.” 

That was a lie. He hadn’t ever hiked a mountain for _fun_ before. The truth was that, a few years ago, he’d traveled up one for days to find the base of a target and kill him, the memory leaving him with the taste of iron on his tongue and a bitter cold gripping his heart. 

“I know you have a job Levi, and I’m sure for you and the others it’s important. However, it’s not only important but necessary to take some time for yourself. You never know when death will come and there is no point in living if you don’t get to experience the richness that life has to offer. Too often are people consumed by their work that they never find the time to enjoy the fact that they are alive. I find it depressing.” 

Levi swallowed audibly before replying, “I didn’t think I was coming out here for some deep philosophical bullshit. I’ve seen and lived more than enough for my lifetime.” 

“Have you?” 

And then Eren stopped and stepped aside, revealing a scene that even the greatest of poets would struggle to describe. In front of his was a clearing showing a pond, the mountains reflecting on the surface making them look far closer than they appeared. The water was surrounded by life that was somehow still a rich green and fish swam around in its depths, the surface rippling causing a disturbance to the illusion. 

It was quieter in this space than it had been during their trek here, the pine trees surrounding them opening up as if to say “welcome, we have been waiting for you.” Levi had never felt so at peace and he stumbled forward, taking in his reflection that appeared on the moving surface. 

Eren appeared beside him, green eyes shifting to that mesmerizing gold, hair flowing in the breeze, with a knowing look on his face. 

“You say you have seen more than enough, and yet; you have not seen this. You have not seen the way the world looks when you have spent days out in the wilderness, hiking up a mountain for the pure pleasure of it, watching as the world unfurls beneath you, so vast and open. Thinking about how there are millions of people out there living lives that are so uniquely their own, lives that are so far from your reach.” 

He crouched down, looking at his reflection in the water before plunging his hand in the surface causing his image to become a blur of colors. 

“You say you have lived more than enough for your lifetime, and yet, when I look at you, I can tell that something is missing. You will argue with me, you will reject my claim, but you and I are too alike, Levi. And I am no stranger to that feeling. You want information from me. For me to spill out my heart to you.” 

Eren stood back up and turned to face Levi, getting up into his space once more, crowding him so that he had nowhere else to go. 

“To tell you all of the dark secrets that I keep hidden beneath my skin. Burned into my flesh with such searing pain that I am unable to go even a day without being plagued by them. But you aren’t ready, are you?” 

Eren leaned forward, and Levi found himself powerless to move away. His fists were clenched at his side, heart beating rapidly inside his chest, legs suddenly feeling weak. Eren’s lips brushed against his own, light and delicate like the flap of a butterfly’s wings.

“Come to me when you are ready, Levi.”

The younger man moved to back away but before he could, without properly thinking it through, Levi grasped him by his shirt collar and pulled him forward, smashing his lips against Eren's and pulling him impossibly closer, wanting to bury himself beneath his flesh, wanting Eren to feel him long after Levi was gone.

_What was this feeling? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had initially thought that my other fic would be my last update of 2019, however, I found myself struggling with it. These two were pulling me towards this story instead, bugging me until I sat down and chose to focus my attention on them. 
> 
> The writing process for me is never what I would call easy, it takes me hours to write due to both chapter length and how finicky I am. I don't have a beta so the editing process is all done by me, I end up reading each chapter no less than 10 times before I feel as though I'm finally ready to post it. However, this chapter flowed freely, and I would much rather post something I'm happy with (I seldom am satisfied with my writing) than force myself to write something that just isn't ready to be told yet. 
> 
> I want to say a huge thank you for all of your support this past year. Throughout my four and a half years in University, I was so focused on working full time and school that I forgot how euphoric it could be to create. How lovely it was to be part of a community. This year was incredibly hard for me in so many ways and your feedback and enthusiasm has meant the absolute world to me.
> 
> I know this year was hard for a lot of you as well and I hope, above all else, that my stories have been able to provide a home for you. A place of comfort and distraction when you had no one else to turn to. I can't wait to continue sharing my ideas with you all in 2020. 
> 
> This is really sappy, so I'll end it here. 
> 
> Thank you,
> 
> Flame <3


	9. Chapter 9

** _“I remember awakening one morning and finding everything smeared with the color of forgotten love.”  
― Charles Bukowski_ **

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** **

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**Eren POV:**

Eren hadn’t been meaning to kiss Levi when he brought him out here. Sure, he’d thought about it nearly every day since their sparring match. His gaze landed on those pale pink lips more often than he’d like to admit and, even worse, he’d spent a lot of nights daydreaming of Levi while lying in bed pleasuring himself. His excuse was that it’d been a while since he’d been intimate with anyone, however, even he had to admit that was bullshit. 

Nothing was keeping him from going off and contacting one of his usual partners or finding someone new. The problem was that he couldn’t get Levi off his fucking mind. Every time he tried to call or text someone, his thoughts immediately drifted to how fantastic Levi’s muscular body had felt when it was pressed up against his. How powerful the older man was. How, whenever that silver gaze landed on him, shivers would crawl up his spine in the most delicious of ways. 

Still, his plan for today had only been to get Levi out of the house. He could tell that the older man was becoming restless, and restlessness often led to frustration. A frustration that could very likely push Eren into a corner. He’d spat some bullshit about Levi not being ready but, to be honest, he was the one who wasn’t prepared to spill his secrets. He’d harbored them for years, even Mikasa and Armin didn’t know the worst of it. Didn’t know the full extent of what the serum had done to him. He wished to keep that information to himself, afraid it would do nothing but cause more pain to those he loved. 

And, on top of those reservations, the most important aspect was that he didn’t yet trust Levi. There near three months together had given him time to get to know the man on a certain level. He knew that Levi liked a cup of Earl Grey to start out the morning, Assam with a biscuit around two in the afternoon, Genmaicha at exactly six-fifteen, and Darjeeling right before bed. Knew that his guest slept just about as much as he did, showered twice every day, had a fondness for his cat that he often tried to deny, and thought he was better at hiding his emotions than he was. 

But it wasn’t enough. Eren needed more substance, desired to crawl inside of Levi’s ribcage and look at his heart. To see exactly who and what it beat for, what secrets pumped through the arteries. He wanted to squeeze the organ and implant in it himself so that Levi would never forget him, would forever be haunted by the monster which he so foolishly craved to uncover. 

At this moment, Levi was granting him his chance. Eren had only meant to play with him, a simple teasing brush of the lips before leading him back home. The minute Levi decided to grab onto him, to press their lips together with such bruising force, was the moment that Eren decided to make his move. 

He was going to devour Levi until there was nothing left. 

Eren’s hands glided to Levi’s waist, fingers sliding underneath the thick material that covered him from the cold so he could grip his flesh hard enough to leave bruises. He wanted to leave a mark, wanted the older man to lay in bed at night and trace the purple stains with his fingers, dreaming of the next moment they’d brush against his skin once more. 

Levi groaned at the impact, his lips parting just enough to allow Eren’s tongue to slide past and taste him. There was a lingering aroma of Assam, warm and buttery, reminding him of summer days spent basking on the mountain tops with the sky wide open above him. His fingers twitched as he tilted his head slightly to the right so he could dive deeper, taste more, take more.

His head felt fuzzy, endorphins rushing through him as soon as Levi’s tongue began to defy his own and demand further access. Feeling cheeky, Eren pulled back and bit down on Levi’s plump bottom lip, pulling it between his teeth before diving back in for more. He could feel the older man trembling beneath his fingertips and he wasn’t sure if it was his heart or Levi’s that thundered in his ears. 

There was no prior kiss that he could equate to this, never had someone made him feel so alive and yet frightened at the same time. He couldn’t tell if he was flying or falling, perhaps both. All Eren knew was that he could stay here forever, with Levi’s tongue and lips moving against his, their hands buried so tightly against one another’s flesh as though they wished for nothing more than to rip it open and burrow deep inside. It was intoxicating in every sense of the word. 

And then, Levi was pulling back and pushing Eren away roughly, a look bordering something between shock and confusion on his face. His pupils were blown so wide that Eren could hardly see the silver hue of the irises that he adored so much, lips bruised and plump from too many kisses, and cheeks slightly colored pink. He couldn’t tell if it was a blush or from the cool wind that whipped through the air but, either way, it was clear Eren had managed to disarm the man on some level and he felt a sinister sort of pride. 

“Do not start something if you are not willing to finish it,” Eren said darkly, eyes flicking from Levi’s lips to his eyes, noting the way they narrowed at his words. 

Without giving Levi time to reply, Eren turned and led them back towards his house. He was all out of sorts, a weird tugging in his chest as he walked away from the shorter man, as though he was leaving something important behind. It wasn’t a feeling that Eren was used to, he didn’t often regret any of the choices he’d made but he found himself wondering if he’d pushed too much. 

Then again...why did he care? His goal was still to get Levi out of his house and out of his life. The thought of going back to living alone with only his cat to keep him company left a sour taste in his mouth and Eren found himself bounding up to his bedroom and slamming the door rather aggressively. 

What was going on with him? Was it possible that a part of him wanted Levi to remain in his house? Could he actually be falling for the older man despite all of the walls he had surrounded himself with? No. There was no way. 

And yet, as he lay down on his bed staring blankly up at the ceiling thinking on how he would inevitably have to say goodbye to Levi or risk spilling everything, Eren couldn’t deny the feeling that began to stir deep within his chest. It was an emotion he hadn’t felt since the day his mother died. 

He swallowed loudly and threw his arm over his eyes, blocking out the lingering daylight as he willed himself to slip into sleep. He couldn’t face Levi right now, could barely face himself. His plan to make Levi fall in love with him was backfiring in the worst of ways and it was time to put some much-needed distance between them. 

_ I can’t fall in love _ , Eren thought bitterly as he turned over and buried his face into the pillow, _that life isn’t in the cards for someone like me. _

ϾϾϾ

The weeks following the kiss reminded Eren of when Levi had first barged into his house and planted himself in Eren’s life unexpectedly. He did everything in his power to avoid Levi. He left before the older man came downstairs and didn’t return home until well after dinner. Levi didn’t employ the same tactics that he had previously, there were no texts about Fritz starving or threats about his friends' lives. However, the tension that resided inside his home was undeniable. 

There was no doubt that soon Levi would lose the patience he was extending towards Eren. After three weeks of barely any communication, he’d misjudged his timing and ran into Levi earlier that morning before heading out. Levi hadn’t said anything to him, but there was a fire in his eyes, burning bright, that told Eren he didn’t have much time left before Levi took this a step further. 

As he wandered the streets of Sina City, he couldn’t help but contemplate what that step might be. He was on his way to go visit Mikasa and Armin for a much-needed chat, wanting to know what their opinions were. Levi had now been living with him for nearly five months and something about that number bordered significance. It was closing in on half a year, far too long, and Eren finally came to terms with the fact that Levi truly wouldn’t be leaving until he got what he desired. 

Eren had decided he would throw the man a bone, tell him that the serum had worked but lie about how successful it had been. This was a task that he needed Armin’s brains for and Mikasa’s strategic prowess. It needed to be convincing without revealing too much, enough to get Levi to not only leave his home but to leave his life as well. 

Levi was far more dangerous than Eren had originally anticipated him to be. He disarmed him in a way that no person had ever been able to, not even his father during the hours of torture he had undergone. And the sad thing was that Levi didn’t even have to try. Just by being himself he was able to knock Eren so off-kilter that he often found himself forgetting his life was anything but that of an average mid-twenty-year-old falling in love. 

And that was the even scarier part of all this. Eren had finally admitted to himself, after countless nights of replaying that kiss in his head, of thinking about how ethereal Levi had looked in those woods with the sun shining down on his face, of getting to know the man on such a level that he could read his emotions from the simple twitch of his lips, that he was madly in love.

It was the kind of love he had never expected to experience. The one where you fell slowly without realizing it until it was too late, until there was no turning back. The love where that person managed to tunnel themselves so deeply into your heart that no matter how hard you tried, a piece of them would forever remain even long after they were gone. 

He hated it, despised how much Levi meant to him. It hurt him to his core, the knowledge that he had fallen in love with someone who was a part of his life only because they wanted something from him. His father’s experimentation had brought him nothing aside from pain and he found himself wishing now, more than ever, that he could go back to a time where he was normal. 

Was it too much to ask? To live a quiet life where everyone he cared for was safe. A life in which he could freely travel the world until he found the perfect place to settle, beautiful land in the white-tipped mountains with Fritz and a partner that loved him simply because he was Eren. A partner that yearned for nothing other than who he was, not what they could get out of him. 

To wake up in bed, limbs tangled together, sunrise coloring the sky beautiful hues of orange, red, and yellow as he gazed into the eyes of his lover. Fritz lying next to them, purring loudly with the prospect of breakfast on his mind. Spending days smiling over steaming cups of tea, hiking through lush green woods and towering mountains, dreaming of nothing but days full of ambedo. 

He smiled wistfully, so caught up in his imaginations that he didn’t notice the sudden movement next to him until it was too late. A moment that would, unfortunately, change the course of his life forever. 

One second, he was casually walking while thinking of a future he could never have and the next he was being stabbed in the gut with so much force that blood began to trickle down his chin. The sensation was slow, the pain being swallowed up like a tired baby sucking milk from the bottle as the monster inside him crawled its way out to fight back. 

He slammed the beefy man up against the alley wall, growling with rage as his other hand began to pummel itself against the man’s face. The sound of skin hitting skin filled the air followed by gurgles and whimpers, Eren losing himself in the feel of taking revenge on someone who dared threaten his life. 

It was only when blood was covering his fist, the crimson liquid dripping onto the ground, along with the barely audible breathing of his assaulter present that Eren finally found himself and dropped the man onto the ground. He grit his teeth, head pounding with a need for more blood, a hunger for violence, a desire for death. 

Eren took a step back and breathed deeply, willing his body to calm down as he gazed at the man crumpled against the wall below him. With his mind now calm he was able to take in the attacker’s appearance. He was a few inches taller than Eren, though it was hard to tell with the way he hunched over himself with his hands covering his now fucked up face, with blonde hair and muscles so large his black shirt barely managed to conceal them. 

He had been wearing sunglasses, most likely to conceal his identity, now smashed on the ground next to him. It was difficult to discern by looking at him if he was some thug looking for cash or if he was working for the government…perhaps he was even working for Levi’s organization. It would make sense, send someone after Eren and force his hand. 

Eren had more control than people gave him credit for. Years of practice with Mikasa and Armin had taught him how to reign the monster back in, how to defend without killing, how to ensure that no one suspected he was anything but a good fighter. 

He switched his attention to the knife protruding from his stomach, gripping it and grunting in pain as he slid it out, paying special attention to not let any blood drip onto the pavement. If this man was more than just some lowly thug, having a sample of Eren’s blood would spell nothing but trouble. He wiped the knife off on his long sleeve t-shirt before sliding it up the sleeve to hide it from prying eyes. 

“I don’t know who you are, but count yourself lucky you’re not dead. Had it been someone else you attacked, you may have suffered a different fate,” Eren spat out before clutching his stomach with his other hand and swiftly make his way back to where he had parked as it was closer than Armin and Mikasa’s. 

He should go to their place directly where he could be cleaned up and allowed to heal, however, a wave of deep-seated anger had him speeding back to his home. Out of all the tactics he suspected Levi might employ, this had not been one of them. He’d thought, at the least, that some level of respect had been fostered between them these past five months. It seems he had been wrong. 

With a rage that he hadn’t felt since those long days spent being at the mercy of his father, Eren swung open the door, eyes roaming until they landed on Levi who was sitting on the couch with a cup of tea in hand. Fingers lining the rim, not bothered by the steam that licked his palms, silver eyes shifting lazily only to widen in shock when they landed on Eren. 

“What the fuck happened to you?” Levi asked, voice rising in pitch as he set his cup down and stood up abruptly. 

“So that’s the road you’re going to take? Act shocked as if you aren’t the one who sent someone after me because I’ve been avoiding your midget ass for weeks,” Eren groused back as he slammed the door shut behind him. 

Levi’s eyes narrowed, his body taking on a dangerous aura. Eren could tell the older man wanted to come closer, to inspect his wounds, pretend to be worried, but he kept his distance. 

“You really think I’d send someone after you? Fuck, Eren. If I wanted to attack you, I’d do that shit myself. Stop being a dumbass and let me clean you up.” 

Eren’s anger immediately diffused at Levi’s words, knowing that they were true. From his experience with Levi on the very first day that he’d entered the house, as well as on the day of their sparring match, Levi had no qualms with being the one to take Eren head-on. Since the day he’d first arrived, it had been Levi doing all the dirty work. He wasn’t a man who used others and Eren had let his rage momentarily cloud his judgment. 

He waved his hand in the air as he made his way over to the kitchen, a sigh escaping his mouth. 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll heal, I just need some time.” 

He was greeted by nothing but silence, something in the air shifting at his confession. It looked like he was going to have to do this without Armin and Mikasa’s help, after all. 

Eren turned around and looked at Levi, a smirk dancing across his lips at the expression that greeted him. For the first time since they’d met, the older man looked momentarily stunned. As though he didn’t know what to do. 

“What? Isn’t this the information you’ve been wanting for the past five months? Cat got your tongue?” Eren laughed before taking a huge gulp of water, feeling the serum move through his body as he replenished it with nutrients. 

“The Titan serum worked, to a degree. It has healing properties. Though, if a limb gets cut off it doesn’t grow back or any weird shit like that. My father couldn’t perfect it as much as he wanted before I escaped with the help of my friends. I am stronger and faster than any living being, and I can heal. That’s it. What you’ve been searching for. A young man given abilities that he never wanted by a deranged father.” 

He placed his cup down on the countertop, the sound echoing throughout the silent house. Eren wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, however, being greeted by nothing but silence hadn’t been in his thoughts. 

“Don’t tell me that you have nothing to say? You? Of all people?” 

Levi pursed his lips as he leaned against the armchair of the couch, crossing his arms across his chest while he inspected Eren. Whenever the older man gazed at him in that way, Eren couldn’t help but feel naked. He shifted a bit, doing his best to hide his discomfort. 

“Do you know why I’m here, Eren?” Levi finally asked. 

“What sort of question is that? Of course, I know why you’re here. You want to use my blood and replicate the serum just like everyone else. As though I’m nothing but a mere vessel with no thoughts or feelings.” 

Levi shook his head and spoke gravely, “No. That’s not it at all. Do you honestly believe we want more people like you running around? Having that much power at their disposal? Being controlled by the government? It would cause nothing but disaster. We want to protect you, Eren. The government may have put on a show of backing down, but they’ve been working behind the scenes. Thinking of ways to get you in custody. I needed to confirm the truth before offering a place of refuge for you and your friends.” 

Eren laughed, eyes shining with mirth at the suggestion of being saved. Even under the protection of whoever Levi was working for wouldn’t do much for him. There was a reason, aside from hiding his powers, why he’d chosen a life of seclusion surrounded by beauty. 

“There is a side effect of the serum that my father was never able to correct. My friends have been obsessing over it for years. I told them a while ago to let it go, that it wasn’t worth it, but some people insist on clinging to hope despite the odds. I’m dying, Levi. Nothing you or anyone else does is going to save me.” 

“How long?” Levi choked out, subconsciously stepping towards Eren. 

Eren smiled sadly, eyes looking out the window and towards the mountains as he spoke, “A year, perhaps two at the most. Armin has managed to slow it down to an extent, but he hasn’t found a cure. It used to haunt me long hours into the night, knowing I didn’t have time or freedom to do all of which I had dreamed of. Don’t look at me that way, with pity in your eyes. I learned to accept my fate a long time ago.” 

Levi stalked towards him until he was chest to chest with Eren, a look of fury in those stormy eyes. 

“You are mistaken, I do not look at you with pity. It’s…it’s…” 

Levi’s gaze shifted to the side as he swallowed audibly before continuing in little more than a whisper, “Now that I’ve found you, I don’t want to lose you.”

Eren’s eyes widened as he looked down at Levi, heart thumping wildly in his chest while he tried to process those words. 

A moment different from all others that he’d experienced, two men standing in a house in the middle of the woods fueled by nothing but feelings that had arisen unbeknownst to them. A moment that had been led to by another. A moment apart created just for them. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming at you with some quarantine goodies! I will be doing my best to update all fics as frequently as I can in order to give you all something to distract you. If I can help make even one person feel better during this time, I will have done my job as a writer correctly. 
> 
> Thank you for your infinite amount of patience with me as I work through new projects and old. You all mean the world to me. We'll get through this together. Sending each and every one of you all of my love.

** _“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose.”_ **

** _-Charles Bukowski _ **

* * *

“Now that I’ve found you, I don’t want to lose you,” Levi’s words echoed throughout Eren’s head, as though they had been screamed to the mountaintops, and he felt his heart clench in a way that was wholly unfamiliar to him.

He’d spent these past few months denying his feelings for the older man, telling himself it was but a simple infatuation spurred on by loneliness. It had been simple, the easiest lie he’d ever told because he believed that Levi harbored no feelings for him beyond a civic duty that demanded he kept Eren safe. 

Now, here, with Levi looking at him like _that... _as though Eren held the entire universe in the palm of his hands...how was he supposed to continue living his lie? Was that a possibility? Could Eren pretend as though the older man’s words meant nothing to him? He’d considered himself a monster for such a long time, it was difficult to imagine anyone aside from Armin and Mikasa possessing the capacity to see him as anything but. 

Eren cleared his throat and took a step back from Levi, averting his eyes as he nervously wrung his hands together in front of himself. 

“I don’t...I don’t think you realize what you are saying. We hardly know one another, Levi. You’re here because you have to be, not because you want to be,” he had a difficult time getting the words out, knowing even as they slipped passed his lips that they were complete and utter bullshit, his voice sounding as though he had swallowed sandpaper. 

Levi narrowed his eyes, silver irises flashing as he took a few steps towards Eren, forcing the young man to retreat until his back was flush with the kitchen countertop. It was uncomfortable, the linoleum digging into his spine, but he would have rather dealt with that slight discomfort than what came from Levi’s mouth next. 

“We are far too much alike for us to not know one another on a level beyond what most people share, and you know it. Stop spouting bullshit because you are scared. Wasn’t it you who claimed I wasn’t ready not too long ago? Here I am confessing my feelings and, yet, it is you who is running away.” 

Eren swallowed as Levi leaned in closer, face just a few inches away from his, so close that he was able to see the older man had the lightest splatter of freckles adorning his pale cheeks. 

“Not only are you scared of admitting your feelings for me, but, you are also scared of accepting help. You are so used to doing everything on your own that you don’t believe it is possible for there to be another way. I can help you and your friends, Eren. Think about it. I have been patient with you thus far but even I have my limits.” 

Levi lingered there for a few moments, staring deep into Eren’s eyes, reaching into the depths of his soul and grabbing ahold of it so tightly that the younger man felt as though it would be impossible to ever rid himself of Levi, no matter what he did. The older man would forever be a stain on his heart and whether that would be a good or bad thing, only time could tell. 

Eren’s eyes flashed, cheeks flushing pink, and he was preparing to open his mouth, a witty reply on the tip of his tongue, but Levi did not give him the satisfaction. The older man pressed his finger against Eren’s lips and shook his head softly, a slight frown making a home on his face. 

“Not yet. Think about it without me around. Talk with your friends as well. They deserve to know there is help out there waiting for them if only they ask. You’re not alone anymore, Eren. It doesn’t have to be as difficult as you are making it. Please, consider it.” 

He sighed and slumped against the counter, all of the fight leaving his body as he watched Levi retreat up the stairs. Would it honestly be that simple? Levi was offering his help, but at what cost? Would those he worked for require for Eren to work for them? Would they secretly bring in his friends only to kidnap them and use them against him? Would they steal his blood and use it to recreate the serum and distribute it for some sick and twisted profit? 

There was a myriad of questions floating through his brain and he had absolutely no answers. Eren was someone who was always sure of his decisions, steadfast in what he believed in, and never had he felt this conflicted in his life. He wished for nothing more than to trust in Levi...but he didn’t think that would be possible. How could it be? His life wasn’t a fairytale where a handsome stranger came out of nowhere and fell in love with him despite his flaws, offering him what he had always craved. 

A way out. 

A sense of normalcy. 

Freedom for his friends. 

But...with Mikasa came Jean and with Armin came Annie. Eren wouldn’t be surprised if those who were after him knew how close he was to Mikasa and Armin...they would undoubtedly use his friends against him if that’s what it came to. The same thing he feared Levi might do. 

Eren ran his hand over his face and sighed deeply. There was no easy answer to this. He _needed _to speak with his friends before he lost his mind and went on a rampage. The last time that had happened, he’d destroyed an entire section of his house. Luckily, it was at the same time as a bad thunderstorm, so he was able to blame it on a tree falling on top of his house. He wouldn’t be granted the possibility of using the same excuse this time around. 

Fuck. He was _exhausted_. It seeped deep within his bones, making him feel a thousand years older than he was. 

_ Time to get the serum from Armin again_, Eren thought bitterly as he leaned down to pick of Fritz, rubbing his cheek against the soft orange fur. He would, no doubt, be scolded by the blonde for pushing himself too hard...again. 

“We can’t ever catch a break can we, buddy?” he asked Fritz, giving him a kiss on his little pink nose before setting him down. 

_ Alright, let’s get this over with. _

ϾϾϾ

“Absolutely not,” Mikasa said, voice full of disdain as she looked at Eren from across the dining room table. Her fists were clenched at her sides as though she were preparing to beat the living shit out of someone. 

_ It might be best if she and Levi never meet. _

“Hmm...I disagree with you on this one, Mikasa. Levi’s been with Eren for what...four months now? Just about? If he wanted to do him harm, he could have a long time ago. It is highly probable that he does want to help Eren.” 

Mikasa shot Armin a deadly look, eyes nearly pitch black as she stood there fuming. It was rare that the two ever argued and Eren did not wish to be part of it. To be honest, he was surprised that Armin was on Levi’s side. He had expected to come over, tell them about Levi’s proposal, and be met with two negatives. It made his decision that much more difficult knowing that none of them agreed with one another.

“Armin, we don’t know anything about this guy. He broke into Eren’s house and has been torturing him for months! For all we do know, this could be a trick to get Eren to a place where he can’t escape and they can use him for their own gain.” 

Armin sighed and shook his head, “it doesn’t add up. They could have used force a long time ago. The fact that Levi has let this go on for four months speaks volumes about his character. He has done nothing to physically harm Eren and has even offered to extend his help to us. I believe he is worth trusting. We can’t live our entire lives under the assumption that everyone is against us, Mikasa. We’re three people. If the government comes for us, and they will, what more can we do?” 

Mikasa dropped down into the seat as though all of the strength left her body, her face finally revealing the weight of what keeping Eren’s secret had done to her. She looked nearly as tired as he felt, the bags under her eyes more pronounced than Eren had realized, so deep that it seemed they might never fade. 

When was the last time his friends got a proper night’s rest? He couldn’t keep doing this to them. 

“I just don’t want to lose him, Ar. Not again.” 

Eren’s head shot up at that, eyes wide as he looked back and forth between his friends. He did his best not to think about his death often beyond all of the things in life he would be missing out on, it had never occurred to him what his absence would do to Mikasa. He was the last living member of her family. 

_ Selfish. How could he have been so fucking selfish? _

“I know, Kasa. Trust me, I know. However, I am no closer to finding a cure for Eren than I was seven years ago. Not only do we need help in protecting him, but we also need help in healing him. Sure, we can keep him safe for now, but two years down the line? Are you prepared for that?” 

The room was filled with silence and tension as Mikasa and Armin stared one another down, communicating silently as though Eren did not exist. He hated being treated this way, like his opinion meant nothing, but he couldn’t blame them. If he’d gotten his way in the past, he’d be long gone from their lives, granting them the ability to live fully without him being a burden. 

Eren noticed when Mikasa finally broke, her eyes turning soft and her entire body relaxing as she fixed her gaze upon him, “fine. Eren, you ask Levi if he has a scientist working for him. We’ll go with you as long as they promise to work on a cure for you. That’s the only way.” 

She turned to look at Armin once she had finished speaking to Eren, “deal?” 

Armin looked thoughtful for a moment, blue eyes calculating, “I believe we should stay behind for a while. Before you say anything, hear me out. If we all disappear at once, it will look suspicious. If it’s just Eren going away, we could always say he’s found a new boyfriend or gone on vacation. Plus, we have Jean and Annie to consider.” 

Mikasa pursed her lips and nodded in agreement, “yes, you’re right. Okay. Eren, it’s your call. Armin and I are okay with you going as long as there exists the possibility of working towards a cure. If, and when, you go is ultimately up to you. We trust in your judgment and we always will.” 

A small smile formed on Eren’s lips as he looked between his two friends and thought, for the millionth time, how lucky he was to have them in his life. That they trusted him this much after everything he had done spoke volumes about the bond the three of them would eternally share. 

“There are no words to express the gratitude I hold in my heart for you both. Thank you. I will contact you once I’ve made a decision.” 

Mikasa stood back up and walked over to Eren and Armin, pulling them both into a tight hug. 

Eren owed them his life.

_ I’ll do whatever it takes to save you, _he thought with conviction,_ whatever it takes. _

ϾϾϾ

** _ Levi POV: _ **

It had been nearly two months since he’d asked Eren to come with him and despite him assuring Eren that they had one of the best scientists on their team, that his cat could come with him, that they would deploy some of the Survey Corps members to keep an eye on his friends, and that they would be as transparent as possible with him...there was still no answer. 

Levi had a feeling he knew what was holding Eren back. Ever since he had verbally expressed his feelings for the younger man, Eren had changed in a way that was equally as endearing as it was frustrating. He still retained the aura he’d always had, the one that demanded respect and threatened to fight back no matter the cost, yet there now existed a quiet shyness that had not been there before the confession. 

Eren often had trouble meeting Levi’s eyes unless he was taunting him or sparring with him, whenever Levi teetered on the edge of intimacy, the younger man immediately retreated as though he hadn’t been the one to first initiate the sexual tension between them. The issue, Levi had concluded, was that Eren had a fear of falling in love with him. The possibility for it existed in a way that could easily destroy the both of them and while Levi was ready to take that chance, Eren was not. 

Levi had a feeling Eren would use a variety of excuses, the main one being his impending death. And he was even more sure that Eren refused to take his offer because he was scared of being in an environment where he was forced to learn even more about the older man. Right now, he held Levi at arm’s length, knowing enough about him to fall for him but not enough that there was no point of return. 

For Levi, it was already too late.

There would never be another Eren. Never exist another human who captivated him in a way that drove him mad with want. Eren Yeager both frustrated and amazed him, overwhelmed and calmed him. How he had gone his entire life without him in it was beyond him and what he’d said two months ago remained true to this day, even more so as time went on.

Now that he found him, he didn’t want to lose him. 

Without Eren’s knowledge, Levi had already put Hange and Armin in contact with one another. The kid was intelligent, Levi had to give him that, and the information he had given Hange was useful beyond measure. As soon as they’d received all of the data from Armin, they had begun to work tirelessly with the young man towards a cure. 

They had mentioned Eren’s DNA was interesting but didn’t elaborate further as they had promised Armin not to investigate anything beyond a cure. Hange may have been a lot of things, however, they were not a liar. Once they made a promise, they kept it no matter the cost. It was the main reason Levi had so much respect for them and, although finding them to be annoying a majority of the time, would trust them with his life. 

He only wished that Eren would break past that damned wall he’d built for himself and learn to trust Levi and his colleagues in the same way. It was a lot to ask, especially after only six months, but it was necessary if they were to move forward and save not only him but his friends as well. 

Levi was at the end of his rope. 

Tonight, he would have his answer and he was determined to make it a yes. 

ϾϾϾ

** Eren POV: **

He didn’t know how else to describe this moment than to say it was the beginning and the end rushing towards one another and exploding with such force that it would forever alter his world. It seems like a cliché, really, the start of so many romance novels that forty-year-old moms sit down next to the fireplace and read wishing they had a love like that. However, there was no better way to explain the monumental impact that Levi had on his existence.

Eren had already thought his life had been altered against his will, a fate thrust upon him that he had never asked for and never wanted. He had sworn to himself that he would never allow another person to decide what path he would walk but he hadn’t ever had a choice and the realization of that hit him hard causing him to swallow deeply. To know that he didn’t have control over every aspect of his life after working so hard to gain it hurt more than he had expected.

He tilted his head when the tapping of footsteps against the wooden floor floated into his ears causing his breathing to become heavy. _ I can’t do this _. He slammed his hands against the table. Hard. Enough to leave the wood shaking beneath tan fingers. His palms were sweaty. Heartbeat was erratic. Sharp green eyes rimmed with gold shifted to look at the open doorway as that oh so familiar figure appeared. A once unwelcome sight which had, against his want and permission, became a permanent fixture. Someone he was sure he could never live without again. And he was scared.

_ Fuck, he was scared _.

“Levi.” 

“Eren.”

His name rolled off the other man’s tongue like liquid syrup. A smooth sugary sweetness that beckoned him to come forward for a taste. He felt like he was drowning already, and they hadn’t even touched yet. He didn’t want to fall, had sworn he hadn’t, but if he was being honest with himself, he had tumbled from the edge of that precarious cliff from the moment he first laid eyes on the man. A man who was now slowly walking towards him with such a look of reverence that he thought he might cry. No one had ever looked at him that way before. He hadn’t ever wanted anyone to. Until now.

He stayed still, unmoving, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. He couldn’t do this, wouldn’t do this. Crossing this last barrier would lay him bare, open, unprotected. If he allowed this to happen, he would be doing what he had promised himself he would never do. Give himself utterly and completely to another person. He would be opening himself up to be hurt and he knew he would be. Levi was after something that Eren couldn’t give him but if he allowed this...if he allowed this...he would crumble. He would give him _ everything _ and _ anything _. He would let Levi destroy him from the inside out and at the end of it all he wouldn’t even hate him, could never hate him. 

“Eren...please.”

And that’s all it took for him to break.

Eren surged forward, grasping Levi by his shirt collar and pulling him against his body, their chests colliding with so much force that he was already gasping for breath before their lips even had the chance to meet. And once they did, it felt as though stars exploded behind his eyelids. He had spent the past six months denying himself this and he couldn’t do it any longer.

Eren needed Levi the same way he needed water, his body losing the capacity to function whenever the older man wasn’t near. As he moved his lips against the older man's, hands moving down to slide up underneath the shirt, warm fingers tracing the lines of the muscles on Levi’s cool skin, he thought of the countless nights he had lay wide awake in his room imagining such moments.

Levi was everything Eren had ever dreamed of. Strong, intelligent, infuriating...with a softness that lay hidden underneath, shown only to those that meant something to him. They were so alike and yet so very different.

How had he ever thought it would be possible to hide from Levi?

As Levi’s tongue slipped into his mouth pulling a moan from deep within his throat he knew right then and there, without a single ounce of doubt, that he was already madly in love with this man. Had been for longer than he was willing to admit.

“Levi,” he said softly, pulling away and nearly losing it at the string of spit that followed. _ Fuck. _

Levi’s eyes were near black, hair a mess from when Eren had grasped it during their heated makeout session, pale cheeks dusted with a hint of rose. He almost looked _annoyed _that Eren had pulled away.

“Yes?”

“If we do this...there is no going back for me. Do you understand? If it’s you, it can be no one else for me ever again.”

Levi grasped Eren by the chin and looked him straight in the eyes, “from the very moment I saw you, there was no one else for me. There is no question, Eren. I know what I want and it’s you.”

_ I’m done for_, Eren thought, _completely destroyed. _

“Okay,” he breathed out, “I’ll go with you.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! How are you? I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy out there. Updates are still slowly coming in and I do apologize that they aren't as fast as they once were. I am still working, just from home, and right when we all went into quarantine I had a coworker who also quit. Needless to say, taking on more work on top of learning how to operate from home has been difficult. I was also feeling incredibly self conscious about my writing for a while so it was hard to sit down and give my these works the time they deserved. I've finally entered a headspace where I feel ready to write more regularly again and while I can't guarantee a schedule, I do hope to be more consistent.

** _“The moral of the story is,_ **

** _I will gut you if I need to. _ **

** _I will carve my way out,_ **

** _with only my teeth.”_ **

** _-Brenna Twohy _ **

* * *

**Levi POV:**

Levi lightened his grip on Eren’s chin, slowly dragging his thumb over the younger man’s bottom lip as he gazed at him in wonder. He’d thought Eren was stunning the moment he’d first laid eyes on him, pressed against the living room wall, an unmistakable wildness shining in those green eyes. But now, with that look of vulnerability on his face, heart laid bare for the older man to see...Eren wasn’t simply stunning. 

He was _magnificent._

It was disarming to be so affected by someone, especially when it was a person whom you’d only known for merely half a year. Levi had experienced many things throughout his life, but he had no words for what _this_ was. To say he had fallen in love with the younger man seemed too simple, the word love not nearly enough to encompass what it was he felt for Eren. 

He would be willing to move mountains for this man. Would go to the end of the Earth if he had to, just to see that rare smile light up his youthful face. It was an incredibly frightening realization, someone having the power to completely shatter your world, and Levi still wasn’t sure what to think of it. He knew he wasn’t ready to fully confess to Eren, telling him that he didn’t wish to ever lose him had already been hard enough.

Admitting he was in love with him and would be willing to die for him if he had to, was nearly impossible. 

Eren reached up and grasped Levi’s hand in his, leaning his cheek into the older man’s palm as he closed his eyes and smiled softly. And Levi just watched. He examined the way those long black eyelashes fluttered and how the right side of his cheek formed the smallest of dimples. Counted the number of freckles that dotted tan skin, wanting nothing more than to memorize every last detail. 

Even with the threat of Eren’s shortened lifespan looming over their heads, they had time. Levi didn’t need to confess at this moment, instead, he would work towards gaining Eren’s trust even further. He would _show_ him how he felt until the younger man had no other choice but to have faith in the bond they had formed. 

“I’ll let everyone know you agreed to come with me,” Levi said, voice soft, as though he were afraid speaking too loud would scare Eren away like some skittish animal. 

Eren nodded and placed a kiss against the palm of Levi’s hand before taking a step away, his shoulders tense. The decision hadn’t been an easy one to make and the older man knew it would take a while for Eren to be comfortable, especially considering he had most likely felt pushed into a corner. Eren hadn’t ever wanted to work with anyone aside from his close friends and Levi wasn’t a fool enough to believe he’d made up his mind simply due to his conflicting feelings for the older man. 

Eren had done it for his friends. The Survey Corps provided him with protection as well as the added benefit of Hange, who would be an incredible asset in attempting to find a cure alongside Armin. Eren may have accepted his fate, however, his loved ones certainly had not. Levi had come to realize over their time spent together that Eren felt an immeasurable amount of guilt for the life his friends had been thrust into due to him. If there was a way for him to fix it, to give them a better life, he would take it. 

Even if it meant limiting his own freedom.

The very thing he desired the most. 

Eren called himself a monster, but did being a monster necessarily equate to being evil? Levi had a feeling there was much more to the younger man than Eren was letting on, that the Titan serum running through his blood hadn’t simply given him a small amount of added strength and healing. He could see it in those eyes, a fire deep within. All it would take was a bit of added kindling and the flames would soar towards the sky, consuming everything in their path. 

Eren would destroy Levi if he had to. 

He sighed as he pulled out his phone and made the appropriate calls, not feeling as victorious as he used to believe he would when this moment came. Levi worried about how Eren would react to the other members of the Survey Corps, a part of him wondering if he was perhaps sending the younger man to his demise. If only they could run away together, forgetting everything but the two of them. 

Levi clutched his phone in his hand tightly after hanging up, more conflicted than he’d ever been in his life. Eren deserved to live beautifully, to be able to explore all of the faraway places he’d only ever been able to dream about, smile wide on his face, and wonder shining in his eyes. That was what the older man wanted out of this. He didn’t care to learn about the serum or to win against his enemies. All he yearned for was to grant Eren the freedom he’d been robbed of so long ago. 

He decided, then, while sitting there and staring down at his hands that had claimed the lives of so many. 

Levi would not hold Eren’s life between his fingers. 

No one would. 

He’d make sure of it and anyone who got in his way would wish they had never met him. 

“Hey, Levi?” 

Levi blinked and looked up, gaze resting on Eren, who was leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed in front of him. 

“Yeah?” 

“Could we stay here tonight? I don’t know how to explain it but...I feel like I won’t be returning here once I leave.” 

Levi had the same feeling, though he hadn’t wanted to be the one to break the news. The life that Eren had carved out for himself here, surrounded by wooded lands and hidden away from the world, would no longer be an option once they stepped foot outside that door. He had an inkling that no matter what happened between them, once all of this was over and the younger man determined that his friends would be safe, he would go somewhere far away. 

If they couldn’t cure him, Eren wasn’t the type to allow his friends to watch him suffer as he withered away until death took him. And if he were able to be cured, that freedom would open a whole new world of possibilities for him. Eren was untamed, he belonged in the forests and mountains, trekking through unknown land with the sun shining down upon his face and the wind running through his hair. 

“Of course, we can stay here tonight. It will give them time to prepare space for you back at headquarters.” 

Eren’s lip quirked up at that and he uncrossed his arms to saunter over towards Levi, placing a hand on either side of the armchair next to him as he bent so they were at face level. “Oh? We won’t be sharing a room?” 

Levi swallowed thickly, “I wasn’t sure you would want that. After all, you made it clear from the beginning that you like your own space.” 

“Mm-” Eren hummed as he moved a hand to Levi’s thigh, gripping it tightly- “that is true. Plus, I think it might make it more fun for us to sneak around. The thrill of no one else knowing...it’s going to be entertaining to tease you outside of my home.” 

Levi reached out and grasped Eren by the wrist as he leaned forward further, lips inches away from the younger man’s as he spoke darkly, “it would be in your best interest not to test me.” 

Eren’s mouth widened into a cat-like grin and Levi watched in awe as a ring of gold appeared around his pupils, growing wider and wider until it completely enveloped the stunning shade of green he was so used to. He assumed that it was a side effect of the titan serum, which meant that he was now treading in dangerous territory. His hand tightened further around Eren’s wrist, muscles twitching in anticipation for a fight. 

“Come on, Levi. Live a little,” Eren said darkly before his lips descended upon the older man hungrily. 

If their first kiss had been anything other than amazing, this one was otherworldly. Eren gave the older man barely any time to breathe, his tongue delving inside his mouth, wicked and hot. Levi groaned as the younger man moved his hand up even further and squeezed hard enough to leave bruises, the other hand reaching up to take a fistful of hair, yanking his head back to expose his throat. 

Moments later, those sinful lips attacked the exposed flesh, sucking and biting as Levi panted heavily, cock growing hard in his pants. He couldn’t remember there being a time that he’d been so turned on, there was something about the unrestrained passion emanating from Eren that made him want to completely lose himself. 

However, Levi was never one to give up control. He’d gotten this far in life purely based on his strength and survival instincts, the very ones which had him grabbing hold of Eren’s throat and pulling him away so that he could kiss him once more. This time, Levi was the one to take the lead, nipping and biting ravenously at Eren’s bottom lip, bringing a delicious moan from the younger man’s throat. 

This was the first time Levi had the potential of a partner who was equal to him and that thought alone sent shivers up his spine. He wanted to tear Eren apart piece by piece, make the younger man shout his name in ecstasy until his throat was raw, force him into submission underneath him. At the same time, Levi desired to have Eren unravel him to the point where he couldn’t remember his own name. To know nothing other than what it felt like to have those hands all over his body doing sinful things to hi-

“Fuck,” he growled out as Eren palmed at his hard cock through his pants, hand rough in its movement. 

Eren nipped at Levi’s chin and then dragged his lips to the older man’s ear where he bit and sucked on his earlobe, causing another groan to slip past Levi’s lips. 

“You’re so hot, Levi. Do you have any idea what it is you do to me?” Eren’s words were spoken darkly as his hands expertly unbuttoned the older man’s pants before manhandling his body so that he could pull them off, tossing them to the side. 

Eren’s eyes seemed to glow even brighter as he took in Levi’s thick cock that was achingly hard, curving up towards his abdomen, tip dripping with precum. 

Levi quirked a brow as he looked up at Eren through dark lashes, “I assume it’s the exact same thing you do to me,” he quipped back as he reached forwards and roughly removed Eren’s pants before pulling him down so that he was now straddling him. 

Eren laughed breathily, “eager, are we?” 

Levi growled before grasping Eren’s hand and moving it towards his mouth so that he could lewdly lick and suck each finger, relishing in the way Eren’s body shivered beneath him as he did so. It was something he wouldn’t have ever done before, but Eren made him want to do filthy things. Levi craved to push the younger man to the limit, to give him so much pleasure that he’d never be able to get off again without thinking of him. 

“Don’t pretend as though you haven’t been getting off to the thought of me for the past six months. You aren’t as quiet as you think you are.” 

Eren’s face flushed darkly and in retaliation to Levi’s words, he reached down and squeezed the older man’s cock, causing him to grit his teeth from the combined pleasure and pain. 

The brunet leaned forward, breath tickling Levi’s ear as he whispered, “you should know not to test me, either. Levi.” 

And then, the older man was tilting his head back and biting his lip in pleasure as Eren wrapped his spit covered hand around both of their cocks and began to pump in earnest. There was a bit more friction due to the lack of lube, however, Levi enjoyed it that way. The slight pain caused him to grow impossibly harder, eyes fluttering closed as he felt Eren’s teeth at his neck once more. 

“Eren-” Levi opened his eyes and groaned as Eren dragged his hand up, squeezing their hard cocks together in the most delicious of ways before sliding his thumb over Levi’s leaking tip- “don’t leave visible marks.” 

In response, Eren bit down on Levi’s neck even harder as he began to move his hand faster, causing Levi’s eyes to near roll to the back of his head, his body shuddering as the younger man spoke in an animalistic tone, “don’t you know, Levi? Monsters mark what’s theirs.” 

“Fucking hell,” Levi moaned as he reached a hand up to undo Eren’s bun, threading his fingers through the long brunet strands before roughly tugging him away so that he could look him in the eyes. 

“I want to see what your face looks like when you come,” Levi panted against Eren’s lips as he felt his stomach beginning to heat up, his body nearing its peak.

Eren bit his lower lip as he increased the speed of his hand, body shaking from the pleasure. His eyes were glassy, but he held firm, that gaze not leaving Levi’s for even a second. When Eren finally came the look of pure bliss that crossed his face was enough to have the older man quickly following, a throaty growl of Eren’s name escaping from his throat. 

They remained there for quite sometime after, chests heaving and bodies shaking from the post-orgasmic bliss. Levi could faintly feel a trickle of blood trailing down his neck and the thought of Eren’s earlier words had his cock twitching in renewed interest. As much as he longed to take things further with Eren, he knew that now wasn’t the time. Their relationship was still fresh, and he had felt the anger that was built up within the younger man as they had moved against one another. 

Eren might think he was ready, but Levi knew better. He placed a finger underneath Eren’s chin and tilted his face up so that he could place a gentle kiss against his lips, a promise that he would be patient, that he would show Eren what it was like to be loved. That Levi could be trusted. 

Eren sighed into the kiss before pulling back and looking down at Levi as though he were a starved man. There was also something else shining in those golden depths, a hint of fear, and Levi wished he knew what it was that Eren was thinking. 

“Levi...” he spoke so quietly that the older man had to strain his ears to hear him. 

“Mm?” 

“I think...I think..._fuck_.” 

Levi brought a hand up and gently ran it through Eren’s hair as he replied tenderly, “it’s okay. We’ve got plenty of time. Why don’t we go get ourselves cleaned up?” 

“There isn’t enough time for me to do everything with you that I want.” 

If only Eren knew, if the time they needed wasn’t there, Levi would grasp it by the edges and force it into existence. He would fight until the death for this man, carve his way through his enemies by his teeth, destroying everything that threatened to take Eren away from him.

Eren had laid his claim moments ago.

Levi had declared it from the moment he first saw Eren. 

••

** Eren POV: **

The next morning Eren awoke earlier than Levi, treading outside to watch the sunrise above the horizon. There was a shift that had occurred between the two of them yesterday, a mutual understanding that what they felt went beyond a simple attraction. Never had he been so unarmed before, shaken so extremely off his axis, his entire world shifting. 

Levi reminded him of the storms that occurred on the mountaintops. The clouds would roll in from afar, the darkness of them hard to discern until it was too late. They brought with them lightning and thunder, winds strong enough to blow over trees, the destruction so great that when it was done nearly no piece of land remained unaffected. However, in their wake was also left the chance for new life. Flowers springing up from the freshly watered soil, roots spreading to make way for new trees, the scent of earth and water filling the air. 

He was as glorious as he was frightening. Eren knew, without a doubt, that Levi had the power to destroy him. And if he did, Eren would give him no mercy. He had an intimate relationship with hell, had greeted the place as though it were an old friend, the fiery abyss not enough to hold him captive. The monster had fought its way out, demolishing anything and anyone that got in its way. 

“Eren?” Levi called out, pulling the younger man from his thoughts as he turned around to greet him.

No matter how many times Eren saw Levi, he’d never get used to it. The way his heart would hammer inside his chest to the point where he thought it would break free, laying itself on the floor in front of Levi, begging him to take it.

“Is it time?”

Levi nodded solemnly, “Farlan has created a distraction to keep the government’s eye elsewhere. Hange will be here shortly to pick us up and your friends are being looked after closely. We’ll make sure nothing happens to them.”

Eren sighed and looked back towards the mountains one last time, wondering if he would ever see them again. Was he making the right choice by going with Levi?

There was only one way to find out.

“Okay, I’m ready.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, as always, for being here with me. I appreciate your support and hope I can provide you with some entertainment during this difficult time. I truly do love this fic and I'm excited to see what journey it takes us all on.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo, has it already been over three months since the last update? Sorry everyone, and special thank you to the person who recently sent me an ask saying this is one of their favorite fics. You definitely jump started my ass to get back to this one, hope you will enjoy this update!

** _“The whole series of my life appeared to me as a dream; I sometimes doubted if indeed it were all true, for it never presented itself to my mind with the force of reality”_ **

** _-Mary Shelley, Frankenstein_ **

* * *

**Eren POV:**

There was an intense nervousness stirring deep within Eren’s gut as Levi grabbed both of their duffle bags and flung them over his shoulders. To say that one was ready to change was one thing, to go forth with that change was a completely different story. He gathered Fritz up into his arms and stared around at his home, the place that had become his haven over the past few years. It was not that he had forever wished to remain in this one spot, quite the contrary, but he had never expected to leave in this manner. 

Eren had hoped beyond comprehension that he would one day be able to freely leave what had, yes been his safe space, but also his prison. However, as he walked out the door and followed Levi toward the sleek black SVU that was awaiting them, all he could think was that he was leaving one cage for another. He wanted to believe in Levi, yearned to accept the possibility of having found someone who truly loved him and did not crave to control him. But, Eren had lived so long a life being wary of other people that he could not allow himself to fully trust in Levi. 

At least not yet.

He would give this transition some time, feel the Survey Corps out, see if any of them could be relied upon. If he had even the slightest inclination that they were lying so that they could use him for their own purposes, he would flee without a word, taking Armin and Mikasa with him. Eren nuzzled his face against Fritz’s neck and sighed heavily, knowing that if it came down to it, he would have to leave his beloved companion behind. It was not that he didn’t view Fritz’s life as one of importance, but it was much easier to flee with two other fully capable human beings than it was with a cat. 

“Eren, you okay?” Levi’s deep voice brought him out of his thoughts, and he glanced to his right, noting the worried look on his…perhaps lover would be the correct description…face. 

“Not really, but I will be. You cannot blame me, for feeling wary. I am quite literary walking into the lion’s den. It is one thing for you to say you want to help me, but to believe that an entire secret organization wishes to aid me as well…it will take some time to adjust.” 

Levi sighed as he opened the trunk and tossed both bags in, shutting it with perhaps a bit too much force, “is it too much to ask that you trust me? I know these people; I’ve worked with them for nearly half of my life.” 

Eren grunted in frustration, “yes. That’s the whole point, Levi. _ You _ know them and _you _trust them. You cannot ask me to trust people who I don’t know. I have agreed to come with you and give this a try, is that not enough?” 

It was not a good sign that they were already arguing, and Eren felt his heart twist at the sudden thought that perhaps this had been a trick all along. Levi gets Eren to let his guard down and then they go in for the kill when he is least suspecting it. He had always been good at reading people, easily able to tell when they had malicious intentions hiding underneath, had Levi been able to hide his true colors that well?

“You’re right, Eren. I’m sorry. Come on, let’s go. We don’t have much time until they come back here to keep an eye on you.” 

Eren swallowed hard and mentally shook himself, maybe he was being a bit too paranoid. It was difficult to rid himself of the habit, especially as it was what had kept him and his friends alive and safe for this long. The possibility of being able to not only trust others again, but to ask for help from them as well, was one that would take a long time for him to accept no matter the circumstance. But, Eren wanted to. Not for himself as much as for Armin and Mikasa. They deserved a normal life. 

Levi got into the passenger seat; a flurry of chatter being heard as soon as the door had been opened. Eren recognized it as the voice of one of the people Levi had constantly been on the phone with, unaware that Eren’s hearing was enhanced to the point where he could hear conversation even from miles away. He never told Levi, and most likely never would, but there had been numerous times where he pretended to leave only to disappear into the woods within a hearing distance from his house. 

That’s how Eren knew the Survey Corps was telling the truth when it came to their feelings about the government. He’d caught snippets of other conversations, mainly about him, and wondered how much longer he would get away with hiding the true extent of his abilities. If they knew just how inhumanely powerful the serum could make people, would they still allow him to leave? Whatever the case may be, he knew one thing for certain. 

No one could be allowed to take samples of his blood. 

With his blood came the potential to recreate the serum and thus produce an army of people like him. He could only imagine the chaos that would be unleashed upon the world if that were to happen. If it came down to it, Eren would dispose of himself in a way that would make it impossible for his body to ever be used to harm others. He could deal with the pain, had dealt with far worse to the point where death was a much kinder fate to succumb to. 

When Eren opened to the car door, to his absolute shock he was faced with an equally nervous familiar blond-haired man. Wide sky-blue eyes peered up at him through thick black-rimmed glasses as Armin smiled tentatively, no doubt a bit worried that Eren would be angry at him for not letting him know he’d be tagging along.

“Armin, you should have let me know you’d be here. They have been treating you well, I hope.” 

There was a threat laced underneath his words as he took a seat and got himself situated, one that had both Levi and his companion’s shoulders tensing in defense.

“I’m okay, Eren. Promise. I demanded they come and pick me up early so I could scope out their facility and make sure they weren’t planning anything,” Armin paused and shifted around uncomfortably, clearing his throat before continuing, “there are some things I’d like to talk to you about...in private.”

Eren placed Fritz down onto the middle seat and spread his legs out, leaning his back against the leather seat as he made eye contact with Levi through the rear-view mirror. 

“I’m sure Levi and his friend won’t mind giving us some space to talk once we arrive.” 

If Levi had any notion that Eren would be automatically kinder to him because they had shared a moment of intimacy together as well as admitted to having feelings that went far beyond attraction for one another, he was dead wrong. He could not yet rule out Levi completely as being a potential threat, not only to him but to his friends as well, and his feelings for the man only made him that much more dangerous. Until either Eren was healed or his friends were in a position of absolute safety, he would never be able to completely let his guard down.

“Of course,” the driver chattered on excitedly, “Levi and I can go in first and start to get things settled and give you two time to talk. I’m sure you have your concerns, and once you address them with one another, feel free to address them with us as well. We will do whatever we can to make you feel safe and welcome. Oh! I’m Hange, by the way.”

Eren made eye contact with them through the rearview mirror as well, his green eyes shifting slightly gold as he pursed his lips, “you’re the one who was watching me, aren’t you?”

Hange laughed, “yep! Guilty as charged. Sorry about that, by the way. I was only doing my job. I promise I’ll make it up to you, I even bought your cat one of those fancy cat trees to put in your room! He’ll be treated like a king and well taken care of, as will the rest of your friends. Please forgive me!”

Eren looked away and had to force himself not to smile as they talked a mile a minute, putting a bit too much emphasis on certain words that didn’t require it. He could not tell if they were male or female, but from his research over the past few years, as the world evolved, he knew it was not proper to ask. And he had a strong feeling that was he to ask, Levi would beat his ass. He was definitely the protective type when it came to those he cared for, much like Eren. That was why Eren had fallen for Levi, after all, they were far too much alike.

As Hange continued to babble about the Survey Corps headquarters and how much Eren would love it there, he wished he felt more at ease. They were one of those sorts of people who possessed a certain aura that made you want to laugh and have fun and Eren had to admit he could have used some fun right about now. Unfortunately, there were more important tasks to occupy his mind with, and as they pulled up to the headquarters he could feel a renewed tension fill the car.

Everyone exited at the same time and a bit of an argument ensued about who would take Fritz into the building. Levi had the two duffle bags to carry, which left Hange’s arms free. However, Eren did not know Hange well enough to trust them with his most beloved companion and refused to allow them to even lay one finger on his fuzzy cream-colored head. An exasperated Levi eventually acquiesced and gave the duffle bags to Hange before taking a happily purring Fritz into his arms.

Eren didn’t hide his smirk at having gotten his way.

Levi didn’t hide his frown at having had to deal with Eren’s fussing.

It was going to be another long couple of months of everyone getting used to working together and, despite his earlier reservations, Eren had a gut feeling he would enjoy tormenting the fuck out of everyone here..._ especially _Levi.

He gave the older man a sassy little wave before turning around and walking away to stand underneath a nearby tree with Armin. Eren closed his eyes and focused on the surrounding area, making sure that no one was in hearing distance and that there were no hidden cameras or microphones nearby. Once he was sure they were safe, he opened his eyes and gave Armin a slight nod to let him know it was okay to say what he needed to without fear of being overheard.

“Right, okay. So, the place doesn’t have much privacy aside from our individual bedroom and bathing areas. There are security cameras that are visible nearly everywhere else, as well as ones that aren’t. This place is incredibly well protected and the only way to get in, or out, is if you have a badge. We need to make sure we demand one of those or else we will have to constantly rely on one of the Survey Corps members if we want to step foot outside.

Hange has an enormous lab with way more equipment than I have ever had access to. I am feeling optimistic that with them and I working together, we will be able to finally come up with a cure for you. I know, I know. Don’t look at me like that. I am going to continue trying until either you or I drop dead, whichever happens first.”

Armin paused and stood on his tiptoes to peer over Eren’s shoulder and at the door leading into the building, “Levi is coming back out now. I better hurry. My main concern is that certain rooms were guarded more heavily than others, rooms that Hange and Erwin...who I have a feeling you won’t like much...ahem, anyway, they both suggested for me to not concern myself with them. I would recommend remaining wary of everyone in this place, even Levi, until I have more time to scope things out. Mikasa will be heading here soon and will be doing the same.”

Eren threw his arm around Armin’s shoulders and spun him around to walk towards the entrance to the building, having sensed that Levi and those inside the building were becoming impatient.

“Thank you, Armin. I’ll keep my eye out. We can at least meet up in one another’s room or when we are taking a shit to discuss things, eh?”

Armin laughed, “as crude as ever, or has living with Levi made you worse?”

“Oh Armin,” Eren paused to glace at Levi, giving the shorter man a wink as he stepped over the sill, “you haven’t even heard the half of it yet.”

And as the door clicked shut behind him, Eren couldn’t shake the impending sense of doom that gripped him by the ankles. It was such a finite sound, reminding him of being that little boy who had been locked in his father’s lab all over again. His entire body tensed, his pupils expanding and breathing increasing as his heart pounded rapidly in his chest.

The only way to understand such a feeling was to have experienced something similar. In reality, he knew that no one in the immediate vicinity was about to strap him down and run tests on him. But it was that fucking sound, that metal click, something so seemingly small and simple that had the power to force him into a different time and place.

In life, there are two realities we must face. The one that we are actually experiencing and the one that we have made up in our head. Which is true? If our mind has put us in a certain space, making us experience the world in a way that is different from those around us, does that mean it is not real? You are reacting the way your body tells you to. The voices around you ten times louder, the air twenty degrees warmer, and your movements a hundred times faster. Is that not your reality, even if no one else is experiencing it the same way?

There was the lightest touch of fingers on his arm that felt as though they were a dead weight and Eren quickly grabbed the assaulter by the wrist, noting how drastically small it felt underneath his grasp. They were so weak, humans. He remembered how simple it had been to kill the ones that had tried to keep him captive before, how easily they broke underneath his fingers. Bones snapped like sticks, heads twisted as easily as wringing out a towel, and his hand went through flesh as though it were water.

He could do that again, kill everyone here and let Armin use whatever he needed to do his research uninterrupted. Or kill everyone here and take Armin and Mikasa far away with him. Or he could leave them behind to use this facility to protect themselves from the government while he disappeared as though he never existed at all, living out his life a fugitive until the serum eventually corroded through his body.

“Eren, can you hear me?”

Eren swiveled his head to the side, the voice sounding so loud... like it was screaming inside of his head begging to be left out. He tightened his grip on the wrist hard enough that whoever it was he was holding let out a sharp gasp of pain.

“Eren, it’s Armin. We are at the Survey Corps with Levi. Mikasa is on her way. We are not at the lab. Eren, listen to me. We are not at the lab.”

He was confused, how was Armin here? Was it Armin whose wrist he was holding? Was he hurting his friend?

Eren quickly released his grip and stepped back, slumping against a nearby wall and putting his head into his hands. There was an intense throbbing pain that was forming behind his eyes and all he wanted to do was lay down and sleep for a while. He was exhausted to the point where he felt as though he would collapse. When was the last time he had gotten a full night’s rest?

“What’s wrong with him?” Levi asked, his voice sounding like it was a million miles away.

“PTSD. It doesn’t happen often, but it’s been a while since I have had the chance to give him his antidote considering you’ve been holing yourself up at his place. When he goes a long time without it, it causes his PTSD to be triggered much easier and the serum in his veins forces his body into fight or flight mode. He’s doing an amazing job of fighting it right now but if I don’t give him his shot soon, he will become far more agitated and you will have no hope of winning against him.”

Antidote. 

Antidote.

Antidote.

Fuck, that’s right. He was more than two weeks past due on his dose which explained why he hadn’t been sleeping for more than an hour or two at a time lately.

Eren groaned, “Armin. I don’t know how much longer I can control this, do you have it with you?”

There was some shuffling and arguing, he could tell that Levi was becoming increasingly agitated, especially when another male voice that he was unfamiliar with joined in. It seemed some of the people were against Armin giving Eren the antidote, which did not please his friend nor Levi.

“Erwin, he is dying. The antidote isn’t just to help him stay in control; it slows the process of his body deteriorating. We discussed this when I brought him here, he will not be your experiment. We are helping him.”

Some more arguing ensued, which Eren drowned out as he concentrated on keeping himself both sane and conscious. He feared if he lost consciousness he would completely lose control of who he was and the beast would escape without anyone around to reel it in. There was only one other time since the incident at his father’s lab that he had lost control and, luckily, Armin and Mikasa had managed to lock him up. When he’d come to, the damage to the room had been so significant that it took nearly a year to get it fixed up. He didn’t want to know what would have happened if people had been around him.

“Give me that,” a female voice said with authority and, not even a minute later, Eren felt the stab of a needle followed by the burn of liquid getting pushed into his bloodstream.

After a few moments of the antidote working through his system, Eren was able to see who had come to his rescue, smiling wide as Mikasa’s black eyes bored into his.

“Thank you.”

Mikasa reached out and gently rubbed her thumb over Eren’s cheek, a murderous look overcoming her before she turned around to stare at a tall blond-haired man that Eren had yet to meet. He grunted as he propped himself up, head swirling a bit as the antidote fought against the serum, the ability to feel two liquids battling inside of his body wholly uncomfortable. He needed to stand; he knew what that look on Mikasa’s face meant.

“You will explain to me what your intentions are with my brother or I will kill you myself.”

_ Fuck. _Not even a full day here and his sister was already threatening to murder someone. Maybe he should have stayed back in that damn cabin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I want to say thank you to all of you for your patience. I am sure everyone was going through a lot before COVID hit, and once it did everything just morphed into one big old pile of shit. I hope you are all doing well, staying healthy, and remembering to get plenty of rest and drink lots of water. I also hope that my stories can bring you even the smallest bit of entertainment and distraction. I'm still not in a proper space to promise regular updates but I certainly will try to make sure it's not another three months from now. Until next time.

**Author's Note:**

> [Playlist for this fic](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7IGjkLESCZktjM5kbngY5S?si=leXqnI_ETSKu_sv66qC39g)


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